John's Dream Journal

Dream about an ex-girlfriend

2006-03-30T14:33:00.000-05:00

Last night, I dreamed that my ex-girlfriend from a long time ago, Linda, and I were sitting on the couch, having a heart to heart talk and kissing. Rather then talk about the dream, I should talk about the feelings that it invoked in me. First of all, I felt regret that Linda and I never got along as well as we should have and most of that was my fault. Second of all, I think it's a sign for me that I've been reflecting too much on my past and that I really should let go. I haven't seen her close to 10 years. Many things have happened between that time. I think the kiss that we had in that dream was just to evoke a memory of the last time we had kissed. Since it's been years since we last been in contact, I wouldn't know where to look even if I wanted to. For all I know, she's probably married now and has a family. The next time we bump into each other will probably be luck and by then I would've forgotten that I had this dream and we would be catching up with each other on what we've been doing. That's probably the reason why I didn't dream about what she looked like when we met, but how I feel she would look like now.

Three dreams this past week

2006-03-12T15:36:00.000-05:00

I was climbing up a very snowy hill from Montana to Alberta. It was in some sort of small town near the Alberta border. The snow was high and slippery and it was a struggle. While climbing and struggling, I came across a red car that has been buried in the snow. It looked like the snow took them by surprise. I wiped off the windshield and moved the snow away from the doors. The driver opened up and he asked me where I was going. I told him I was going towards the border and he says to me that I didn't need to make this trek. There was an easier way: Highway 14, in which he called "The Great Escape Highway". Wondering why I haven't thought of that, I climbed down the hill, leaving the driver and his passenger in the car. I got inside of a blue car that was in the town at the foot of the hills. I got in and woke up before I started on my way.

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I was watching a porn film. The man was able to carry three women on his arms. He picked one of them, and threw her on the couch. He started undressing her and she started sucking his cock. The porn film turned into a documentary of the guy. He says that people do need to exercise at least two times a day. He said that he is forced to exercise for the rest of his life. If he ever stopped, his eyes would jaundice, his heartrate would become erratic and his health would deteriorate. The announcer said that he died shortly after the interview for apparently not exercising for only two days. What was weird about this dream is that I put in an internet search for exercise and death. A lot of results came up. I wonder if I was integrating a report on TV about sudden death in athletes with my dreams

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I was part of a dance choreography group for a large scale off-Broadway production directed by some director. His first name is either Frank or Henry. I remember because his first name was in bold letters in either yellow or green letters with a dancer on top of each letter doing something incredibly fancy. His last name was in red and green letters with a dancer on top of each letter doing something incredibly fancy. The scene that I was in took place inside a grocery store with two principle cast members. I was in a large group of extras. This group of extras was divided into three parts in front of the grocery store. The farthest was wearing green shirts. The ones in the middle were wearing red and we were wearing black. All three groups were divided by cast iron tube dividers painted black. One principle actor was going up and down the lanes of the grocery store. Whenever he approached the lane closest to whichever group of extras (green, red or black), we would recoil away from this actor and then crawl slowly back up to him while he had his back to us. This happened for a total of three times. The second principle actor walked from the back towards the grocery isles. The group that I was in (wearing the black) stood up and moved out of the way for him to enter. Both principle actors wore black suits. One with a black tie and one with a black and white striped tie. (I don't recall what the lyrics were). We, in the black, all then formed a large circle, standing a good distance away while the extras, in the red, started doing complex flips, turns and somersaults one at a time. From that point it felt like someone turned on the "fast forward" or "fast motion" button on.

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Response to s&m:

2006-02-10T13:10:00.000-05:00

Are there two things, both appealing in a sort of average way, in your waking world between which you are torn? What do women mean to you?

Good questions, s&m. I'll answer in a stream of consciousness:

Two things in which I am torn...a companion's desire for me and my own desire for a companion. I feel like, as of right now, those two desires haven't met. As illustrated in the dream, even though there is nothing wrong with the other woman and I'm pretty sure she is nice, attractive and fun to be around. Alas, she is not what I desire. When i was younger, I found it heartbreaking to tell a girl "No I'm not interested in you" because at the time I felt the reasoning was "I had a high desire for women". It turned out that non-rejection is about as disrespectful as rejection. It's one thing to be turned down. It's another thing to be led on and used. The coat was made for the two of us and it was her coat. It provided some degree of comfort between us and the floor. The coat did not belong to the other woman nor did I think it would be fair to have all three of us sitting on that coat. It would've caused discomfort for someone. I felt that i've taken the best solution possible: Stop it right there before it does cause a problem. Have the courage to say "No" to a woman.

Women mean a lot to me, as a companion, as a friend, as a lover, as a potential wife and mother. But I must not forget that I need to balance that scale equally. I must not give in to her and she must not give in to me. We must allow each other to compromise. It must be a fight for power, but it also must be a high degree of understanding and patience. There must be pedestals and there must be equal footing. There must be dreams for the future and there must be deeply rooted affection. There must be chaos and there must be structure. We must have our own views and we must be able to defend them. We must be able to defend the other in tight and awkward situations. There must be times when we're alone in tight and awkward situations but we can always rely to go to the other for comfort in the end, no matter how bleak or hopeless the situation is or how badly our feelings have been hurt by others. There must be magic and there must be reality.

The concert dream and the woman who made me feel warm

2006-01-21T12:43:00.000-05:00

I was at a concert. I don't even remember what kind of concert it was. I remember sitting on a hardwood floor of which I think was a stage. I wasn't there with anyone, but there was a woman there who wanted to sit with me. Actually there were two, but I politely told the other one "Sorrry, but I can't". Me and this other woman were being nice to each other.

She was around 5'7", light brown hair, light brown eyes, average-thin build, dressed in sort of pink and red clothes. She carried around a multi-coloured purse and a jacket for us to sit on, which was nice of her.

The other lady had a different hairstyle, wore tan-brown clothes, but looked similar to the one that I was sitting with. Friendly, nonetheless.

That's about all I can remember. It was a good feeling of being wanted.

My sitemeter has been kidnapped

2005-10-15T00:51:00.000-04:00

For whatever reason, I cannot access my old sitemeter (s15sleepyjohn).

So I got a new one!

(Yay for me!)

St. Al's dream -- September 30, 2006

2005-10-01T13:20:00.000-04:00

I was walking around the school when I came to a room where I saw Theresa Szlydowski(I can't recall the correct spelling of her last name). I was so thrilled to seeing her again. I hugged her and we talked a little. It turned out that I was the first one to see her. I think she wanted to see me first. Then I started looking for others for her to see. Claude, Lisa, Kim, Darren...all of the others who were in my (I'm guessing) sixth grade or whichever grade. It felt like a reunion.

Lisa, I remember, had a few tears coming out after seeing Theresa.

Then another woman came up to me and looked at my eyes. She wanted to know if I was crying...and I was.

We were all our present ages. I was 29 in the dream and everyone was either 29 or 30 years old.

Aliens and spacelife

2005-09-27T10:14:00.000-04:00

It started off as some sort of space exploration thing, nearing the edge of the sun. There were space ships and space stations, but they all look like they can fall apart.

Then for one reason of another, I ended up back at a nice house where I was dating someone by the name of Becky, who didn't look like Becky, but she turned out to be an alien wanting to kill me and eat my flesh to satisfy her hunger.
It started off as a knife fight, except she was the one holding the knife. All I had were my arms, trying to jump away. I grabbed a trash can lid to fend her off her knife attacks. She also grabbed a garbage can lid...while still armed with her knife. Eventually I won. I was held by other people while Ken, who didn't look like Ken, went for my face with a hot iron. I struggled free. Ken apparently was also an alien wanting to kill me and eat my flesh to satisfy his hunger.

I left the house walking towards my car. I was closely followed by Ken, who I guess was making sure that I left and never came back.

My comforter was in the wash last night and I felt a little too cold which probably resulted in this strange dream.

My high school music teacher

2005-09-17T11:10:00.000-04:00

I was with my sister and nephew in a blue car that they used to drive. It was a blue Pontiac sporty type of vehicle. We went to some sort of school function. In the dream, I was on vacation. My sister and nephew walked into the school building. I don't know what the school was called. After they went in, I ran into my old high school music teacher, Ms. Hilbig (who I think is now married) and she gave me a hug, a kiss on the cheek and scolded me for not giving her a call. After that, my sister and nephew walked out of the school building. Ms. Hilbig was still hugging me. I had to leave. It felt like she didn't want to let go. My sister and her nephew were already in the car waiting on me. As soon as I got to the car I found that I had a remote control in my hand that I had to give back to the school. I started walking to the front door and when I turned my back, my sister had already left. They couldn't wait any longer. I started walking home after I had apparently returned the remote control. I couldn't believe that my sister ditched me. I saw another blue car that looked exactly like my sister's car so I ran thinking it was hers, but it wasn't. Someone else was driving it.

So I continued to drive home.

A fight with three devils

2005-07-23T17:04:00.000-04:00

There was a team of us against three of the most powerful demons ever to have walked the face of the planet. For some reason the fight took place at a house in Yorkton. The fight involved knives, trickery and guns and not so much on magic and spells. One demon died, replaced with another powerful demon. But the demon didn't die without taking a member or members of our group. After the second demon died, taking a few peoples lives in the process, the third demon came in. He looked a lot like a buffed up Will Smith with a bad moustace and dark sunglasses. He presented himself at Beelzebub (or a name sounding like that), the lord of the flies. He asked to have twenty minutes of silence, shortly before he pushed the leader of our group onto an easy chair and brutally murdered and castrated him. Me and another guy left to the mall to have lunch. We started heading back. There was a line up of people walking somewhere. Where was no cars and the only one on wheels were me and the other guy...and we were on bicycles. These citizens seemed to be walking to either their salvation or to their doom. I felt a sense of uneasiness as I cycled back to the house to fight the third demon as I knew we weren't going to win.

I woke up.

(a missing dream)

2005-07-08T21:52:00.000-04:00

I am not sure what happened, but this is a first. The "I Dreamed of Dodge Trucks" dream somehow vanished and I didn't delete it. Honest.

I'm going to enter in as much details as I can. I do not have the dream written down anywhere. It's all in my head.

The dream took place at night.
The place felt mechanical, with no buildings. There was a light blue-ish tint all around.
There were buildings in the distance, but there weren't any doors or windows nearby.
There were five large dark blue Dodge Ram trucks.
There were five people, counting myself, piloting the trucks.
The dream was split into six segments.
Three of the segments involved human interaction.
Three of the segments involved video game control.
The video game control felt like it came from a video cam pad. It didn't feel like a steering wheel, break, or gear shift was involved. The control felt forced.
The view of the video game segments was from a bird's eye view.
The first video game segment went as normal.
In the second video game segment, the truck that I was piloting slammed into the rear end of the truck to the left of me, taking my truck out of action.
In the third video game segment, I was given a pink used truck (which I think is an old later 1970s Ford truck)
In the human interaction scenes, some of the drivers had scuffles amongst themselves. I was skirting along the outside of the conversation, not talking.
In these human interaction scenes, I was taking a third person part. That is, me, the character, was taking part while me, the dreamer, was the audience.

Becky's Dreams: Zombies and The Lion

2005-07-01T19:06:00.000-04:00

I asked for permission to post the following two dreams:

Zombies
"I do remember a zombie dream i had a few days ago that scared the living crap out of me!...it was taking from the movie that just came out. Land of the Dead. I know you've heard of it. I was one of the few remaining people on earth and I was battling zombies...right before I woke up, me and another person I was with was beating a female zombies face in. I know! Violent little me"

The Lion
"I was at my home I grew up in, in my bedroom and there was a lion or some type of animal creature outside of my [bedroom] window stalking me. I know it was a feline creature because it purred!...It was early morning. Weather was clear. I was afraid of the crature because I knew I couldn't let it see me. I hid from it...[the lion] was out to get me...I couldn't let him see me."

Becky's Dream: Pregnancy

2005-06-28T19:46:00.000-04:00

This is the first time that I have ever posted up someone else's dream. Since I was involved in this dream, I asked for permission to post it:

"I had a dream that I told you that I was pregnant...I was at your apartment on your loveseat with you...you were [the father of the child]...as far as I can remember, you were not too happy about it...[you were] upset enough to cry...[The reaction] was more of 'Oh, god! My life is over!'. Even though you never really said anything. Just kinda sat there and cried and I knew it wasn't a happy cry...I was sad that you said that. But somehow in the dream I knew you would be. I expected it...I did stay awake for a while and think about that dream. Kinda freaked me out a bit!"

In attempt to analyze this dream, I looked up two key symbols in two books. One was bogus, the other made a lot more sense:
Parenting - To grow from being a child to indentifying more prominently with adults. Or, a "what-if" anxiety.
Crying - The weepy feeling you get in your heart when a particularly moving scene is played out before you.

Becky wants to go to a concert ... June 17, 2005

2005-06-17T12:39:00.000-04:00

Becky was wearing a loose light blue shirt and blue jeans.
She was wearing her glasses.
For those of you unfamiliar with Becky, she is 5'4", has an average build body and thin, red dyed hair and blue eyes (yes, she does wear glasses).
To me, she reminds me of Susan Sarandon.
She does look like some of the "women of my dreams" that I've had in the past.

I dreamed that we were laying on the floor somewhere.
It was in a livingroom in a house I didn't recognize.
There was a screen porch to the left of us, with sliding doors.
We separated for a while, because Becky had to answer the phone.
By the time we got back together, Becky told me that the tickets to see some band at $230 a piece.
She then said that was the only way to get the concerts tickets down to $3.
We snuggled up face to face, similar to how we've snuggled up face to face in the weekends we've been together.

June 12, 2005 ... Reconciliation dream

2005-06-12T11:42:00.000-04:00

Katherine and I talked inside a coffee shop. We exchanged some ideas and memories. Everything said was more or less about gaining closure. It felt like a heart to heart or a good-bye. Probably all three. She left soon after because she said she had to pick up her parents.

Kathryn and I have had a rocky past. I believe I had this dream because deep down I wanted a proper way of moving on. I could've been expressing my regrets of things that didn't happen.

June 12, 2005 ... Jen-Jen and I joined the US Airforce dream

2005-06-12T11:34:00.000-04:00

*jen-jen* and I joined the US Air Force. We were both very excited about it.
Except:

I started having second thoughts. I had my job with MUSC that I now had to quit. I wouldn't have as much time with my family and I would be away from Becky.

*jen-jen* seemed all calm about it. She wasn't worried about it or anything. She just seems so all pumped about everything.

We both looked pretty sharp in our deep blue Air Force uniforms even though I have never seen one in person.

June 10, 2005...Father/son dream

2005-06-12T10:11:00.000-04:00

I was in a backyard party of some sort.
It felt like a get together or a dinner party.
I was pretty sure there were other people around even though I couldn't see anyone else.
Everyone was dressed in regular clothes, it wasn't a fancy dinner party.
I remember holding a cup of coffee with cream and sugar.
I was talking to a man with red hair and his son with short blonde hair and glasses.
The man with red hair looked like the actor from Field of Dreams and Sneakers.
His son looked a little hyper, like he was diagnosed with ADHD.
The son started getting hyper, started kicking the table, spilling my coffee and the father threatened, yelled and hit his son.
The son was obviously taken aback.
He started crying and then said "Come on, dad, give us a break!"
While this was going on, I was cleaning up my coffee on the table, using a green circular sponge.
The dad was apparently a computer programmer who was showing me a "Warhammer 40,000" game that he designed.
The father seemed abusive.
The son obviously has some issues, but the dad had no clue with how to deal with him effectively.

A make out dream...April 17, 2005

2005-04-17T11:44:00.000-04:00

The dream took place in Regina at my sister's house.
In the living room was me and a woman who apparently was a friend of my sister's.
I've never saw her before in the waking life
She was about 30 years old, slim, shoulder length long, sandy brown hair.
We were both sitting on the couch.
It felt like she was interested in me and waiting for me to make the first move.
Sitting in the bedroom across the hallway was Lois and I could only assume that my sister and a few of her friends where there too.
As soon as I touched her hand and moved closer to her, she turned around and gave my sister and her friends a "thumbs up".
She then started teasing me with kisses.
The first one was barely a kiss, but the intensity of her light brown eyes spoke volumes of love and lust.
I was hopelessly lost in her gaze.
We started pecking at each other with our lips.
Before I know it, she was trying to pull off my Savannah pull-over sweater that I was wearing.
For some reason, she couldn't pull it off.
When I moved, she was completely nude.

Before I could react in any way, I woke up.

I couldn't pull myself back into the dream.

Family dream from April 5, 2005

2005-04-05T20:45:00.000-04:00

I can't remember every detail of the dream that I had, so I'll jot down all key points:

The setting was at home in Yorkton in the late morning or early afternoon.
The sun was shining brightly into the house.
I was in the dream along with my nephew, my sister and dad.
My nephew, in this dream is half of his present height.
The dream seemed to focus a lot on babysitting.

At the end of the dream, my dad said to me, "Don't forget to go to the library"

Movies and concepts...from March 27, 2005

2005-03-27T17:06:00.000-05:00

I can't recall the dream in too much detail, except it combines elements from Back to the Future III and The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy...

In some underground passage, Marty and the Doc were looking for the Delorean that the Doc from the past had buried.

Except in my dream version, they were looking inside the basement of some building and I was joining in the search. The basement of this building looked abandoned, they were looking for an archway opening. I saw it right behind a tall filing cabinet.

I stood there waiting for Doc and Marty to catch up, as it were.

"That idiot can't even make a map to scale", Doc said.

"There was supposed to be an elevator here", Marty said, referring to a boarded up passage, "Well, it's not here any more"

Marty pushed aside the filing cabinet.

"Hey doc!", he said, "Check this out!"

"This is it!", said the doc.

For some reason the dream then drifted off to The Heart Of Gold...or at least my version of The Heart Of Gold space ship with four pilots...a miniature Zaphod Beeblebrox and three alien talking bees. Zaphod was using a lot of phrases using the word "be" in them. All four were roughly the same size and were flying around on floating pilot seats.

Then some funky minimal techno music started playing and the four started "dancing" on the bridge. When I mean "dance", I mean they were floating in the air, exchanging places to the sound/beat of the music.

I can't recall the entire dialogue between Zaphod and the crew, which I apparently was part of. I do know that in my dream version of Hitchhiker's, Zaphod's role was reduced to being the pilot of the ship.

Who is she?...from March 8, 2005

2005-03-08T11:41:00.000-05:00

I was in my grandparents' house in Fort Benton, Montana.
My grandpa wasn't there, but several other people were there.
One of them was a strawberry blonde young (probably between 18-24 years old) woman. She had shoulder length hair. She was 5'4", brown eyes and an average body. She looked cute. I have no idea who she is.
I was walking behind her with another girl.
She turns arouns to us, lifts up her shirt, and shows me her bra.
I didn't know if she was showing it to me or to the person behind me.
Then this strawberry blonde girl points directly to me and said "You're the only one supposed to see this."
So she gave me a "private viewing" in the kitchen.
I say that because there was still other people in the house, but it was a private moment between us.
Then we went into the living room.
I took her arm and pulled her near me.
We had our arms around each other.
She pulled up to me and whispered, "Would you like to put a pickle between these things? Would you like to put your pickle inside me? Or how about one of your cocks?"

Two medical nightmares

2005-03-01T13:19:00.000-05:00

March 1, 2005

I was laying on my side, on a metal exam table facing left.
My clothes were still on.
Beside were three organs that came from my body.
One heart and two lungs.
I saw a hand reach for the heart as it started beating.
There was excitement in the air and I suppose they were going to put it back in my body.
But then the heart stopped beating, so they put it back beside me.
The lungs looked like they were in poor shape.

February 27, 2005

I was at a vet with my cat, Abby.
The vet told me that the cat had cancer in her rear half of her body.
I was told that the cat didn't have long to live.

Needless to say, I felt troubled after having both dreams.

A mini-epic from February 23, 2005

2005-02-23T18:12:00.000-05:00

The dream took place in New York City, even though I have no working knowledge of the city.

The main character and narrator was Joe Pesci.

Joe was taking a stroll down the streets of New York City.

"I was on my way to the city's downtown fair", he narrated, "Behind me were three yo-yos who seemed to have some sort of grudge against me. I got myself an ice cream on my way there."

A single scoop of vanilla. He was walking down some back alleys. The three dumb guys went to a fireworks store. They were pretty mad but completely clueless.

"How much for this gun?", asked the leader-of-the-pack, as he pointed to a real looking fake rifle, "I want to blow his brains out"

The store owner could only look in disbelief, "But that gun doesn't do anything", he said, pointing out it's plastic construction.

Two of the guys started looking around the fireworks shop. One of them found a cone full of a harmless plastique explosive material. He lifted the cover of the cone and the harmless explosive slipped out.

"Well you bought that one, boys", said the store owner.

Cut back to Joe. "The ice cream didn't agree with the heat and I threw up", he continued, "It landed right next to the turkey sandwich that I threw up last year". The "camera" moved over beside the vanilla ice cream vomit and sure enough, there is what was once the remains of an up-chucked turkey sandwich.

He walked inside a building. Two guys were in front of him. One guy was in back. The leader-of-the-pack had a shopping bag filled with two wooden blocks "glued together" with the harmless plastique. He handed the bag to Joe.

The boys were growing increasingly distressed and for some reason, saddened.

"I don't want it", said Joe as he passed it back to the leader. Joe and the three members started throwing the bag around as if it was a hot potato. These blocks with the plastique were obviously active and were ready to blow at any time. One of the boys threw the bag behind him, on to the stair case and everyone left the building in time for the staircase to explode.

I...suppose it was Rome....uh, yeah. February 17, 2005

2005-02-17T17:55:00.000-05:00

I was in a balcony over what was supposed to be the Roman collesium. Except it looked like some run down apartment building. Around me were lower class people in British accents, and Tim Robbins, the actor.

It was hard to see but everyone was cheering on the action. I can only assume it was a gladiator match.

A bunch of these people arranged themselves in perfect domino fashion in a rectangle. Tim Robbins gave a might push and those people fell down to the ground. They didn't seem to mind laying down. One of them looked over in my direction.

"Oi!", he yelled, "Your standing is offensive ta me. Lay down, why doncha?"

Everyone started laying down on the ground.

"'Ey guard!", he yelled again.

Comming up a long staircase was supposedly a Roman guard. Except he looked more like a Terry Gilliam type of guard character.

"We're laying down, here" the man continued.

"It's a sin against the Roman gods to view the holy games while laying down," replied the Guard laying down the law, "How about that?"

Everybody started standing up again. The guard left downstairs.

I turned around and there was Tim Robbins sitting on the floor hugging his legs.

I turned back to the staircase and the guard had brought up a cot, a blanet and a blue pillow.

The dream faded to a "Later..." scene in which Tim Robbins had escaped. No details were given as to how he escaped, only that he did.

A Guest on Conan O'Brien on February16, 2005

2005-02-16T10:48:00.000-05:00

Sorry it's been a while. I haven't had a memorable dream in quite a while.

Me and another guest were sent to the back to do some drawings for the show. Backstage there was another desk that looked like the Conan's desk in the front of the stage.

I started drawing the dog from "What-a-Mess" because I remembered how Conan used to make fun of the dog all the time. Actually, no he didn't. It was a dream engineered memory, if you know what I mean. The "What a mess" dog drawing started carrying human characteristics so I drew Conan using the "What a mess" dog.

After I did the pencil work, I started drawing over it with a pen. Conan came to the back to see how we're doing.

"Can I finish this later?", I asked, "I could go on forever."

"Tell me", he ask, "When was your first world series?"

"What-!?", I replied.

I started getting the feeling that I wasn't supposed to be drawing. The other guy looks like he came from the Major League Baseball association.

That's...uh...a strange recipe from January 28, 2005

2005-01-28T10:03:00.000-05:00

I was gathering ingredients for a recipe to make cookies. The last two ingredients were were strange but somehow important to this recipe. One was geriatric undergarments and stockings were recommended. The other was used condoms. I got a couple of bio-tox bags and I decided to search for the condoms. A woman asked me, "Couldn't you find used condoms for sale?". I replied "Now who would sell a used condom?"

And the tail end of the dream, another man showed up. "Leave it alone", he called out. He was looking at a name on the computer screen, "Richard Sala".

"We'll get him instead", said the man.

A fight ruined a potentially memorable dream for January 21, 2005

2005-01-21T19:10:00.000-05:00

Potential TOO MUCH INFORMATION alert

I can't remember too much of the dream.

I remember incorporating the loud crashes into the dream before a particularly loud crash woke me right up.

My upstairs neighbour apparently got into a fight with someone. Or maybe it was on the staircase.

IT WAS FUCKING QUARTER AFTER THREE IN THE MORNING!!

The fighting stopped 10 minutes after I woke up.

Thunderstorms can't wake me. Loud wind doesn't phase me. I slept through a Class 1 Hurricane. I slept through loud TV, music and boring movies. I can sleep through drunk people yelling.

There are two things in the world that wake me up, guaranteed: sex in a nearby room and fighting in a nearby room. The actual act. I can sleep through recordings.

A restaurant dream from January 14, 2005

2005-01-14T14:33:00.000-05:00

It resembled a show from The Travel Channel. Sort of.

The female host (off scene) said "This expensive restaurant is for someone with a more refined palette and something a little different but adventurous" The restaurant has all nude waiters and waitresses. All of the naughty parts were electronically blurred.

Then I was put into this same scene. Funny enough, the naughty parts were still electronically blurred. I stood in line wanting to get a drink. I knew it was an expensive restaurant, but I wanted one anyway. The patrons looked at me indifferently. The were dirty dishes piling up and it looked like the restaurant was about to close.

This restaurant was in a mall, by the way. I walked out and searched for my black gloves. A big tall man, who looked like he was 7'0" tall, grabbed the gloves and squeezed them in his arm. I hit him repeatedly and yanked the gloves from his arm. Looking outside of the restaurant, I turned left.

I was hungry, and wanted to get something to eat. I started searching for a fast food restaurant and I felt a large "WONK!" on my head. The large man, apparently pissed off, bonked me on the head with his head. I actually felt it. I made a turn to the right, looking at various electronic video game booths. I turned to the right and another right. I saw him again, so I made a flying leap towards him with my foot extended. I wanted to land a foot in his groin. He ran away. I turned right and made two lefts. I saw him again. He was practicing his kick. I made another attempt at punching him in his groin. He retreated again. I turned around. I saw him again.

"Truce?" I asked.

He nodded his head.

I don't know where this shopping mall was. There were white walls all around with windows in the ceiling and some windows at a corner.

The guy looked like Scott from band (all the way back from Jr High and High school). He had glasses and brown hair. He looked like he had extensive training in self-defense.

The End of the World dream from January 6, 2005

2005-01-06T10:19:00.000-05:00

This dream sort of mixes in elements from "Transformers: The Movie".

A group of people on Earth have failed to secure a deal. I'm not sure what deal this is. This group consists of world leaders or aliens. Either case, they left aboard rockets that have just taken off. I had a bad feeling that as soon as they left the planet, they would initiate the destruction of the planet Earth.

I was with my sister at this time. We were trying to escape this destruction. She was telling me that I shouldn't have to rush. I was saying to her that we don't have much time. I wasn't sure where we were going. I didn't know if I was heading towards an escape rocket or a shelter or what. I don't know. I just know that I had to continue towards the building ahead of me.

I caught a glimpse of a woman feeding a cartoon mouse a piece of cartoon cheese.

That was when the explosions started. The roof of the building to the right of me erupted. I knew the destruction was close. My sister insisted that we still had time. In front of us was a blinding light and we were catapulted backwards.

The scene was changed. It looked like a high-tech visual display with a "Report" screen. There was a background voice. She said, "No one survived the destruction. You don't want to know how many other planets have suffered the same fate."

This was a disturbing dream, to say the least.

The Snoop Dogg dream of January 2, 2005

2005-01-05T17:55:00.000-05:00

I was in a very fancy, dimly lit house. With me was rapper Snoop Doggy Dogg. He was smaller in my dream. Probably about 5'8" but made it clear that he wasn't to be messed with.

I gave him one of my CDs to look at. I had a feeling it was something like a CD that I already own ("Rapid Transit" from Chocolate Industry), because it had the same lead title from Prefuse-73. Don't ask me how I know, it was just a feeling.

Snoop Dog told me that he doesn't flow with any of the bands. Except for one. He pointed at the group name and then pointed at the alias (or something like that).

The alias said "Neighborhood Killah".

He tossed the CD away, dismissively.

"Neighborhood Killah?" I inquired.

"Neighborhood KILL-AH!", he replied.

He seemed to walk away in disgust, as though I didn't have anything better to offer.

The TV Station Dream of December 28, 2004

2005-01-05T15:47:00.000-05:00

I was the boss of a TV stations with two people working in the same office as me.

I was told that the TV station must be steered in a new direction. No more funny buisness. I remember taking on a stronger role. Walking firm and giving direct orders. I felt that before I was being very lofty in decision making.

The dream did reflect the events that followed. I was confronted by my sister later that day to finish up loose ends. Clean out my room in Canada of old junk and garbage and to take care of some real-estate.

Happy Holidays!

2004-12-19T11:54:00.000-05:00

I wish everyone the best of holidays! I will be with my family and won't be making any updates until the first week of 2005.

She was cute! from December 18, 2004

2004-12-18T10:55:00.000-05:00

I don't remember too much about this dream.

I remember being around St. Gerard's church in Yorkton but I've incoroprated other buildings from Charleston.

The focus on the dream is on a woman.

She is about 4'2"
She sounded like a child.
She was around my age. She never told me but I got the feeling that she was in her mid to late 20s.
She had long brown hair.
She couldn't have weighed more than 100 pounds.

She asked me if I wanted to go out with her sometime.

I don't remember what I said. She looked dissappointed but hopeful.

The mystery of December 10, 2004

2004-12-10T16:47:00.000-05:00

SCENE 1

There was a party at someone's apartment. The apartment block looks like some cheap Hotel room block somewhere on Broad St. N in Regina. I was at the party, along with the victim. A pink 1950's cadillac was there. It looked like the Cadillac that my grandpa once owned.

The victim looked like Tobey "Spiderman" Magiure.

There was also some sort of gay dude there. He looked like one of Claude's friends.

SCENE 2

I'm struggling with the Cadillac. On the driver's side, both of the locks were rusty and the driver's side rear door was loose. There were two alarms. One was the car alarm and the other was the door alarm. I was trying to disable both alarms.

The trick is the doors have to stay steady for the door alarm to shut off and the lock has to be properly un-locked for the car alarm to shut off. The more I tried to unlock it, the more the driver's side rear door would slide into the driver's door.

I pulled the key out. The doors were still locked and I had enough fooling around with the driver's side. So I went to the passenger side.

There, the doors and the doorlocks were in pristine condition. Just like new!

SCENE 3

Outside of the apartment room, the gay dude finds a suitcase full of clothes. They were packed oddly, like they were wrapping around something. I knew what it was right away, the gay dude, didn't.

"What body?", inquiries the gay man, "Where's the body?"

I picked up a T-shirt wrapped around what was once Tobey Maquire's face. It felt cold to the touch. In fact, it was freezing! I knew it was his face from the imprint. Beside his face was his baseball cap wrapped up inside another T-shirt.

It was a pretty gruesome feeling. Inside the suitcase was a body part wrapped up in a piece of clothing, frozen cold.

She came from the sky from December 9, 2004

2004-12-09T16:53:00.000-05:00

I was driving through some desolated isolated road either in Montana or Saskatchewan. No fences, no green grass, no trees and no flowers. The only colour I could see was light brown on either end that melted into a blue sun-less sky.

The car vanished around me and I wasn't travelling on a road. I was travelling on a dirt road. My body determined how fast I travel. The further I leaned forward, the faster I travelled. Well, okay, the faster I flew.

Behind me was a city. In front of me was the plains and a hilly country side.

She came from the sky like a goddess. She descended downwards unsupported towards me. I slowed down until our paths met. She then held on to my back as I slowed down.

I felt that this woman was a goddess, or a gift from God, or an angel. She had red tanned skin, flowing long dark hair. She was naked. I couldn't see her face for some reason. I was able to recognize her other features. She weighs about 150-170 pounds, she was 5'7" tall and she had a slight athletic body.

As soon as we stopped, she opened her legs and spread her clitoris apart. She wanted me to have sex with her.

I woke up from this dream because I thought it was time for me to go to work. It wasn't. It was around 6:13 am.

Whose Line Is It Anyway dream of December 7, 2004

2004-12-07T15:26:00.000-05:00

I can't remember much of this dream, but I'll put down as much as I can.

I was part of the television audience of "Whose Line is it Anyway?"

Colin Mocherie and Ryan Stiles were the two performers on stage, both sitting on bar stools. Colin is supposed to give some sort of news in various positions with his body.

Colin balanced himself on his barstool with his butt while having both legs high up in the air. His head was poking out to the right and giving some sort of silly pout-y look. He was folded up but didn't look uncomfortable.

The audience laughed.

The dream then shifted to a group of five people, myself, Colin Mocherie and Ryan Stiles being three of them. There was a woman in the group and someone else. All five of us were creating a red clay statue of a woman's hand with the index finger pointing straight up and the other four fingers tucked away. The woman apparently was the expert clay molder person (I don't know the proper term) and she was using a very fine sculpting tool to carve the delicate fingernail.

Classroom lunch dream of Dec 4, 2004

2004-12-04T11:18:00.000-05:00

I was in a room full of familiar faces and some that weren't all that familiar. It was a small room with three wooden school desks.

One looked like a mix of Darren Spelay and actor David Cross (he was bald).
One was Trevor Smith.
One had orange hair.

There was a subdued guitar solo playing in the background.

The Darren Spelay/David Cross person wanted me to get some informaion out of Trevor Smith. I tried to talk to Trevor and apparently he didn't say anything important.

We started eating lunch. Macaroni, cheese and tuna.

The Darren Spelay/David Cross person and me were eating at a bar table in the back.

Trevor Smith and the man with the orange hair sat at two of the desks.

The Darren Spelay/David Cross person said to the man with the orange hair, "You're not supposed to be eating that. What about your diet?"

Trevor Smith turned around, annoyed.

Darren Spelay/David Cross said, "No, not you. The other guy"

Trevor Smith turned around to the man with the orange hair. Trevor Smith said, "What are you doing?"

The man with the orange hair said in a very loud tone of voice, "Would you leave me alone, already?"

Tidbit of a dream from December 3, 2004

2004-12-03T13:58:00.000-05:00

I was at a waterpark just outside of Regina, SK. I was climbing up the steps to the top of the waterslides. One of the waterslides that was shut down for some reason was open again and everyone was going on it. Which was odd because in the waking life, that particular waterslide was always open. The water was flowing down nicely, there was a stream of people sliding down, sort of like a train. Actually, the water was overflowing the water slide.

It seemed to be pretty popular.

I remember the staircase to the top is as it was in the waking life: Wooden, painted white, carpeted in green "Astro turf".

People were sliding down wearing their bathing suits as I was climbing up. It was sunny with very few clouds and the temperature was just right. Not to cold, not too hot.

A dream of dogs and my dad - From November 28, 2004

2004-11-28T13:00:00.000-05:00

This is probably the first time where I was in a house but I can't place where it is. It looks unfinished. Parts of walls aren't built. It looks exposed.

In the dream is my dad and Thomas, my nephew. Thomas doesn't show up until the end of the dream.

Two dogs, a black and white dog with a basket on his back and the dog's companion shows up during a specific song. My dad would climb into the basket and the dog would carry him wherever he wishes. This is obviously a very strong dog, even though he doesn't look that strong. I think he's a sheep herding dog.

During dad's second trip on the dog, he said that it was the very definition of a dog. He was referencing to the dog's will to carry the weight of their master.

I left the house by unlocking the screen door from the inside and exiting it. I could have exited through the very large gap in the wall on the left. It was incomplete.

There was a third dog, who looked like a brown and white British Bulldog.

I went to the garage. I asked Thomas where Oliver was.

Thomas said, "I don't know how to tell you this, but Oliver was run over by a bus"

"What the fuck?", I replied, "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

A car/work dream from November 25, 2004

2004-11-25T13:04:00.000-05:00

My work finally integrated itself into my dreams as of last night.

I was driving around a city belt-way going somewhere. I can't place where it is. It does have a distinctive Southern Ontario feeling about it.

There was a middle express way that was characteristic of Hwy 6/Hwy 7 between Guelph at Kitchener/Waterloo. It had the beltway feeling of Hwy 526 in Charleston.

My boss in this dream was a male. After driving on the beltway, I went back to the office. My boss came out and he wanted to drive to the next location, where he would stay and then I was instructed to go to the next location.

We got into a red sports car. He drove to some sort of underground building, wrecking the car in the process and finally smashing it into a concrete wall.

"How am I supposed to drive now?", I asked, annoyed that the car was totaled.

Benny Hill dream from November 23, 2004

2004-11-23T09:50:00.000-05:00

Benny Hill and his old friend are undercover detectives.

He stops the car and tells his old friend to get out of the car. He then steps on the gas and yells at his old friend to walk to the crime scene. He waves his fists in the air and then starts walking.

Benny Hill starts singing Iron Butterfly's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida". He was expecting the tune to come from his car horn, except it wasn't playing. So he stops singing and then hits the car horn again and again until it starts playing "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida".

The scene goes back to the old man who ran to a bicycle. He starts cycling along. Benny Hill's car stalls and then stops. A bicycle chase down the hill begins. Several young kids joined the bicycle chase. This was when I entered the dream. I was applying my breaks while going down this steep hill. It was kind of like going down a hill in San Fransisco. Except, it harkened memories of my trip to Guelph which was a hilly city.

Off the side of the road, there were organized piles of branches off the side of the road that we were trying to avoid.

When we got to the bottom of the hill, there was a traffic light. We all stopped and were waiting for the signal to change.

And that was the end of the dream.

My life was threatened (November 20, 2004)

2004-11-20T15:04:00.000-05:00

I was walking down a hallway in a mall with my "dream girl". Her features are better presented in this dream. Shoulder length straight brown hair, brown eyes, I'm guessing weighing around 130-140 lbs, 5'6" tall...very fun gal as always.

At the mall, there was someone who looked like me with silver tiped spiked hair giving us a pretty creepy look. I got the feeling that we was going to kill us.

It had a Hollywood feel to it. He would be there for a few seconds looking at us and then something will move past and he would be gone.

From November 12, 2004

2004-11-17T19:45:00.000-05:00

I was driving down some sort of road. I don't know where. It could have been a road in Canada. Anyway, there was a huge white sign that recommended all trucks follow a "short cut". Think of a right angle triangle. This "short cut" was through the right angle. I decided not to take it because I knew better then that.

From November 9, 2004

2004-11-17T19:36:00.000-05:00

I dreamed that I had a daughter.
A four year old daughter with blonde hair.
She was running around wearing a white dress.
She told me not to be afraid to tell her that I love her and that I miss her.
I sat on a bench while she ran around.
She fell and she wasn't wearing any underpants.
I shook my head, as though I was saying to myself, "Huh! Kids..."

She sounded like Thomas, my nephew.

The Marx Brothers dream of November 7, 2004

2004-11-07T10:31:00.000-05:00

I was in a house on the bay. The Marx brothers were there with me.
In the sky there was a World War I bomber with a very archaic looking bomb.
It was a very large warhead with landing gear still attached.
The plane was heading towards the house.
The pilots in the plane talked to their navigation computer to change the trajectory.
They didn't want to hit the house that we were in, so they choose another target. An empty building across the bay.
The plane made it's descent.
The Marx Brothers, not knowing what was going on in the plane, had their backs turned, their ears covered, bunkers set up and a cannon aiming 90 degress (to the righht) away from the plane.
I faced the plane and called the scene.
"It's turning!", I said, watching the plane hovering beside and to the right of the house.
"There goes the bomb!", I said, watching the bomb slowly flying away from the plane.
The bomb flew to a tree between the house and the empty building across the bay.
The bomb exploded with a crack, it sounded like a firework exploding
"It hit the fragging tree!", I said.

The plane landed beside the house.
I went up to the two pilots, who came out and apologized. They had no idea there was someone in the house.

"If only Grouch Marx were here", I said, "He could come up with a snappy comeback"

The Marx Brothers never spoke in the dream.

A Whitney dream from October 30, 2004

2004-10-30T11:57:00.000-04:00

I was in the halls of a college campus which I'm guessing is somewhere in Charleston. I was going up an elevator and walking down the hall where I met Whitney. She was wearing what looked hike a home made dress made of gold/tan coloured spun wool. It was pretty revealing. We were talking, going back to the elevator where we were moving downwards. She lay down on the elevator floor and I sat sit beside her.

This is one of a series of dreams that I had last night.

Fresh Prince of Bel Air dream from October 25, 2004

2004-10-25T17:25:00.000-04:00

The characters in the dream were Will Smith (Will Smith), James Avery (Philip Banks), and either Nia Long, Daphne Maxwell Reid or Karyn Parsons...or a composition of all three.

Here's the premise of this dream as far as I'm able to understand: Will Smith was learning some sort of important life lesson. He was sent back to the future back to the time of Nazi Germany. James Avery played Hitler, complete with moustache and the "composite woman" played a woman who Will trusted and loved, but betrayed him (Is "doupleganger" the appropriate word?)

James Avery wore make-up to make him look white but made it apparent that it actually was make-up.

It was taken place inside the mansion.

We pick up on the dream where Will Smith confronts "Hitler". "Hitler" becomes frustrated with Will and storms out of the mansion. The woman who Will was so close to gives him an evil look, turns his back and leaves.

Will becomes very mad and leaves to another room.

At this point I turned my head away.

Something dramatic happened. I'm not sure what. "Roll Out The Barrel" was playing at radio clarity. I looked back to the show. Will Smith exited the house with a smoking gun. He either shot "Hitler" or the woman. "Roll Out The Barrel" was now playing at crystal quality.

The world's most complicated coffee maker October 17, 2004

2004-10-17T11:42:00.000-04:00

In this dream I was in Regina making coffee in what looked like the world's most complicated coffee maker, ever.

Me and my brother were there.

I somehow opened it up and got to see how the inside works out. Let me see if I can describe it to you.

At the bottom is a water resevoir. Underneath is the water heater that pumps the heated water up.

On the other side of the water resevoir is a heated grill, on top of that is the coffee pot. On top of the coffee pot is the coffee filter and the roasted coffee?

Sounds okay so far, right?

It gets weird in that everything, including the coffee pot, is in a white plastic case. And it's not clear where the path of the hot water is going to. In fact, this is only supposed to serve one cup of coffee at a time, not one pot of coffee.

After that me and my brother were talking.

He told me if I had found anyone to date, yet.

I told him I did.

I woke up after that.

The arcade game of October 11, 2004

2004-10-11T13:37:00.000-04:00

This is the first entry I've had in this blog for quite a while.

Part of that is scanning and posting up photos for two of my other blogs, my high school reunion and my own personal memories.

Last night's dream was a little bit uncomfortable.

It felt like a video game. First person viewpoint. There wasn't any pixels or close-to-real animation or video activated video games, etc....it took place in real life except that it felt like a video game.

I was playing myself.

There were people around me who were possessed by some dark, evil unseen villian and people around me who weren't. There was a building that had a steep staircase to the basement. I wasn't allowed in until I completed the "first level". Basically I was to orient myself to the city, get a feel of it.

There wasn't any shootings or killings. A lot of running and avoiding.

After a while I was allowed inside the building.

The next "level" started with an incantation of the dark, evil unseen villian. I was walking down a short hallway. A woman and a man who were there were possessed and then starting going after me quoting some weird and dark poetry.

When I woke up, I didn't know what to make of it. Was it a game of possession or avoiding possession? Was it a metaphor or pun or something?

Another computer dream for September 25, 2004

2004-09-25T10:38:00.000-04:00

This is one of a series of dreams that tells me that I spend too much time on the computer.

I made a post on a blog of mine. It simply had way too many mistakes on there. I had to correct them all before anyone reads it, I thought.

Then I was on YouThink on the Generals discussion board on YouThink. The whole design was different. Many of the discussions that I expected to be there simply were not there. There were probably 30 active discussions. The rest were considered inactive.

Then I went to JustConcerts.com They had a selection of artists: Rock, Jazz, Punk and Industrial/Ambient. I went to the Industrial/Ambient selection. That isn't how they separate their artists, by the way. I choose to listen to an artist, Tim Hayby. I don't know who Tim Hayby is, I think I just made him up in my mind. If he does exist, it would be one hell of a coincidence. There were two photos. One photo of Tim Hayby. He was smiling, wearing a light blue buisness suit and looked like he was in his early 30s. The other photo was the concert photo. The stage was dark. There was a central pole and the setting suggested a revolving stage. On the pole were three shelves or levels. There was a laptop on each level. Tim Hayby is more than likely one of a duo. After clicking on the concert, the RealAudio window popped up. It was a 35 minute concert. I only got to hear a few minutes of it before I woke up.

It sounded like this: There were "tic-toc" sounds and then I heard some light subtle sounds on top of the tic-tocs. I can't describe the subtle sounds, but it gave the impression that Tim Hayby was building up to something big.

Chalk Marks I- September 24, 2004

2004-09-24T09:15:00.000-04:00

I was dressed in a light blue jacket.

I was with a woman. I don't remember what she looks like any more.

We started kissing.

She told me that I needed to freshen my breath.

Journey to the top of Ontario on September 22, 2004

2004-09-22T10:44:00.000-04:00

I was in a white van with three women traveling from Toronto.
(I must have gotten off from the Lester B Pearson airport)
We wanted to travel to the highest most point in Ontario to get a clearer picture of where we were supposed to be going to.
We drove around and to the north of Toronto traveling up a mountain.
It wasn't snowing, but there was snow everywhere.
It was pretty cold too.
We made a left turn.

We weren't driving in a van any more, we were walking.
There was a "check-point" around the corner.
At this check point we were told to stand still while some mechanical...well, things...heated up our feet.
After our feet were heated up we were allowed to continue.

Then we were back in the van.
There wasn't any transitions. No one got out of the van. No one opened or closed the doors.
It was as if the van disappeared once we got to the checkpoint and then re-appeared in the van after passing the checkpoint.

Once again, we ascended up a packed snowy path up a mountain.
Once again, we reached a checkpoint to have our feet warmed up.

I felt it was some sort of medical importance to keep our feet warm while driving on this mountain.

Finally, we were at the footsteps of the tallest building on this mountain city.
We started running up the staircase of what felt like a parking garage.
I was running with a woman passenger and she told me "Common! Hurry up!"
I ran into a glass wall. There was a break in the ground. If I were to jump across I would have fell.

"How do I get across?" I asked myself.
I went to my left and found a "bridge" across this break.

I ran across this parking garage top. There were a couple of people out and it turned out that this parking garage top floor was also a zoo.
I saw about 8 or 9 exotic animals. I can't remember what they all were.
I remember reaching back for a camera to see if I could take a few pictures.

I was running around, looking at these strange animals.

That's about all I can remember from this dream.

Let's try this

2004-09-21T17:21:00.000-04:00

I signed up for a Tag Board. I don't know if this is a good idea or not. I'm going to place it here first. If I like it and turns out useful, I'll make it a more permanent fixture.

So tag away!

A wake up call for September 20, 2004

2004-09-20T17:15:00.000-04:00

I seem to have an internal alarm clock. At least an alarm clock that yells out YOU SLEPT IN, YOU DORK!.

I was in a group of eight people. We were playing some sort of game. There was a flat green surface. He were all pushing toy self propelled 4x4 trucks across the surface. We were supposed to place an obstacle onto the field. If your toy can't cross the obstacle you're out of the game.

Here's the alarm clock:

A man came in through the door and said "Get some lunch at Taco Schmuck!". (His pet phrase for Taco Bell) I woke up after he said that.

Cleaning up the interpretation

2004-09-18T21:40:00.000-04:00

I think the message of the dream is quite clear:

Rash and ill advised conclusions and assumptions are painful and costly. My subconscious could very well be saying "John...just what the hell are you thinking about?", or "John...what the hell convinced you to come to *THAT* conclusion!".

I would like to tidy it up by reviewing these other "minor" symbols.

Blue indicates liberation from worry and/or help from outside sources. The blue treasure chest, the two blue crowns and the blue dress that the woman was wearing were all roughly the same colour of blue. This woman was a genuine sweetheart who didn't deserve such an evil fate. That's interesting. And it's these stupid assumptions that are going to kill that relationship, that is if I don't do something now.

Black is an unfavorable omen unless it featured in a funeral or other appropriate situation, in which case it forecasts difficulties to overcome. Black was appropriate here since it lined the panels of a dark comic

Deep red forecasts unexpected good news. I don't know about that. The reds that were used to amplify the violent nature of the torture. How could it be unexpected good news?

King Happiness, prestige and prosperity are forecast in a dream or being, seeing, or meeting royalty, unless the dream had some embarrassing or unpleasant element in it, in which case it is a warning that you could be victimized by underhanded gossip, so keep your private affairs to yourself. Once again...gossip.

Okay...I think I have an idea, now.

The dream is warning me about gossip. It's telling me that I'm very quick to judge other people by gossip. Even though...even though I try not to, I do anyway. Why? I'm going to have to do a stream of consciousness writing on that and find out for myself.

Brave analysis - II

2004-09-18T13:01:00.000-04:00

I should give some thought to some of the other symbols in the dream.

I couldn't find any interpretations for comic books, but here's one for Pictures
Watercolors, drawings, or modern pictures predict minor changes

That sort of negates the symbols of Cruelty, Torture, and Killing. It could be just my subconscious keeping me on the straight and narrow path. Sort of like "Of course you're not an evil depraved little man bent on destroying all women, but here is a tale of a man who is like that".

Read
Reading in a dream is a generally favorable omen signifying progress. If you were reading aloud, it predicts help from outside sources; to hear someone else read foretells future comfort and peace of mind.

Progress, huh? Interesting. It doesn't say anything about reading from the last page.

Chest
A large chest is a warning against getting into debt; a small chest forecasts success in love; an empty chest is a forerunner into a minor disappointment; a full chest is an augury of family solidarity but only after disagreements and quarrels

The comic book panel had a large blue chest with two round crowns on the top. The crowns and the chest looked like they were made of the same material. The chest didn't have a lock. I got the impression that there was something valuable inside the chest. But the chest was a gift. There is something about family solidarity. I am going to have to keep my spending habits in check. That seems like a minor theme. "My last gift to you is the first gift [can't remember the name] gave to me", she said. Now that I think about it, it sounds like an odd thing to say.

Fork
...to dream of an eating fork signifies a release from present worries...to stab or see something or someone stabbed with a fork predicts a possible loss of status, so guard your tongue

The forks were stabbed in someone's eyes. I'm convinced this is a morality tale; a warning. Some minor but important adjustments in my attitude are very necessary right now.

Knife doesn't seem to have an appropriate description. The knife that was used was a dinner knife, not a steak knife. Blade has this:
...if clean and shiny, it indicates helpful new friends

...that doesn't work, does it?

Cut has this:
To dream of yourself or anyone else being cut by a sharp edge or object is a warning that indiscreet gossip or behavior could be very costly. Cool it!

That's better. The knife was stabbed in someone's mouth. That makes perfect sense with indiscreet gossip or behavior. This was after the King said "Silence that filthy wench!". Yes, okay. That's the warning. Rash and ill advised conclusions and assumptions are painful and costly. My subconscious could very well be saying "John...just what the hell are you thinking about?", or "John...what the hell convinced you to come to *THAT* conclusion!".

Brave analysis

2004-09-17T23:01:00.000-04:00

I must try to analyze what this dream is trying to tell me. I'm going to attempt a couple of interpretations. Tonight, I want to try to interpret and analyze the violent symbols first.

Torture
The torture of dreams often comes not from hot irons or leg irons, but from within the mind, via partial or complete paralysis. Pay attention to where on body the torment is located. If an external force is restraining and causing you pain, your guilty conscience is going out of its way to vent steam.

I wasn't the one getting tortured. Fictional characters were being tortured. Women being burned alive by a sadistic king. One woman more horribly than the others. Why did the king hate women so much? What caused him to get this hatred? What could my guilty conscious be telling me? Possibly that I have too many women crushes and I have to dispose of them, all except for one. Although I wonder...in the story, the king marries them and not long after he burns them alive. One right after the other. Is my mind telling me something about marriage? One was very protesting about it that the king wanted to cause her much more pain while she was dying. Am I causing someone a lot of needless pain?

Cruelty
Whether the victim was you or someone else, mental cruelty in a dream signifies frustration; perhaps you would be wise to be more flexible in your attitude and/or aims.

Exactly how frustrated am I with women, I wonder? Oh lord, a creepy unwanted thought...suppose the king was me? Am I this sadistic son of a bitch? Okay...okay...maybe I need to become more flexible then I have been. I haven't been fair in my attitude. It downright sucks.

Killing
If you dreamed of killing someone, whether intentionally or by accident, it signifies a period of severe emotional stress during which you must make a heroic effort to control your temper. To dream of being a witness to a killing portends a change which will not be entirely to your liking. A dream of seeing others kill insects or animals prophesies help from friendly sources, but to dream of killing them yourself predicts that you will overcome your obstacles through your own efforts.

I'm going to have to go with the second meaning. A change that will not be entirely to my liking. That seems to make the most sense.

If I were to combine what I have written above...it sounds like that I have caused someone or some people some needless pain. If I can't change right now and become more understanding and flexible, then things can only get worse.

I've combined that with my own personal feeling from reading the comic book from the back to the front. I was looking into the future. I did not like what I saw. There was no happy ending. It was a cycle that kept on getting worse.

That....was disturbing (September 17, 2004)

2004-09-17T09:22:00.000-04:00

A&E was on this morning broadcasting a movie about Helen of Troy. It somehow influenced this very disturbing dream.

I was reading a comic book, backwards. The pages were in black. I don't know who the artist or writers were. In this comic book, the first page that I've read was the last page in the book (naturally). A woman was placed inside a furnace, burning alive with a red cloth crammed in her mouth.

Turning a page back. I saw that this woman was married to a Roman king. It didn't take him too long to be dis-satisfied with her.

Turning another page back, another woman, same fate. Tied and burning alive in a furnace.

Another page back. This woman had more of a history. Before she would be married off to the king, she gave her friend/servant/husband a final gift. She was in a blue dress with a blue rounded cap. The gift was a treasure chest with two blue crowns on the top. She was saying that this was her husband's first gift to her. There was mystery within the chest. How could such a nice woman end up in such a grizzly fate?

Turning another page back, another woman, a more....disturbing fate. She was tied and burned alive in the furnace.

She was calling out "FUCK YOU BASTARDS!! I'LL KILL YOU!!".

The King said "Silence that filthy wench!".

First he stuffed her mouth with a red cloth. Then he went behind a glass cabinet.

The next panel, this woman has a sterling silver knife jammed in her mouth. Two forks jammed in her eyes.

The next panel, this woman was now laying on top of the fire, and the king was jamming more sterling silverware into her body.What a sadistic evil son of a bitch, I thought

I woke up feeling very disturbed. This is one of my emotional nightmares.

The Swiss Cheese effect

2004-09-16T17:13:00.000-04:00

I'm borrowing this from two sources. The first source being "Quantum Leap" and the second source from Lachesis.

Lachesis:

Seriously, I also have a problem with short-term memory recall on waking, but I've long attributed that to a high distraction rate.

Me: I wonder if Attention Deficit has a role to play in this?

i.e. You could give me a standard 7-digit phone number to memorize - I could repeat it to myself over and over again for 15-30 seconds, then stop. 3 minutes later I wouldn't be able to recall pieces of it, then 5 minutes later almost all of it would disappear from my memory.

Me: The moment you mentioned this harkened a broadcast of CBC's Quirks and Quarks about memory. Here's the MP3 of that discussion and an OGG of that exact same discussion

Swiss cheese ;)

But this doesn't really happen in interactive memories - for instance, I just returned from giving a presentation to 20-25 people. I can recall plenty of details about the meeting, and I remember images, feelings, etc. I remember faces, where people were sitting, the general cadence and sequence of my presentation. If it were a dream, I wouldn't recall any of that, even though the "experience" would've been close to real.

So what's different, I wonder?

Me: Listen to the broadcast. See if it gives you any insight into memory. I personally find Bob McDonald a wealth of scientific information...or at least scientific radio programs.

Remembering dreams: An add-on topic

2004-09-14T13:52:00.000-04:00

Lachesis suggested it and I think it's a good idea:

Lachesis:
How in the WORLD do you remember all those details??? I never! have a dream when I can remember that many details...

Me:
Lately...the best way I've been able to retain a mental image of the dream that I had is to either:

a) Write it down the moment I wake up
b) Recite a scene or scenes. Really. Just say it out loud

Another way, and I know this is going to sound strange, is to try to retain a "snapshot" of your dream in memory.

Lachesis:
I don't even recall those kind of details immediately on waking. It's like whatever I was dreaming about is immediately erased upon waking.

You know, say you draw a huge mural on a chalkboard. Then you take a big eraser and suddenly erase the whole thing as quickly as you can. When you're done, inevitably there are a couple of chalk marks left behind here and there, unrelated.

Those little chalk marks are what I recall on waking most of the time, if at all.

My response: [September 14, 2004 @ 14:04]
I think it's why it's important to see if you could remember one single image from your dream. It's how I was able to remember some details from the second part of this dream The kid with what looks like he has a tumour gave me sort of a snapshot of me being in front of the house/school.

Memories of dreams could also be lost due to stress, I would imagine.

I don't know. What do you think?

Lachesis:
That's the question. I've seen lots of commentary on dream recall, where people are advised to keep a dream journal, write stuff down before getting out of bed, etc. - even take things like vitamin B6 before bed.

I do all that (even tried the B6 for a while) but my problem is deeper - recalling anything at all of dreams on waking. Maybe it's a larger, memory-specific problem....

Me: I couldn't think of a proper response at the time
I was asking someone online about how she remembers dreams. She told me that she remembers triggers. For example, a character from Friends who shares the same name of someone who was in your dreams. There's got to be some other techniques out there. I think I've read once how someone bought a tape recorder to record their dreams as soon as they woke up, only to repeat "What an incredible dream" over and over again.

PS

2004-09-12T17:59:00.000-04:00

"I got some weird news for you", my sister said, "B and G are separtaing"
I paused.
"How did that happen?" I asked.
"Well, how did you happen?", she replied.
(Good point)

We talked about it for a while. I couldn't believe it. B and G were two of the happiest people that I've ever met. They were married for about 15 years, every time I saw them they were all smiles. They were members of my sister's band and really talented musicians.

Fast forward.

"Guess who K. is going out with?", asked my sister, "It's someone you know"
I chuckled. I hope it wasn't someone that I knew from high school or university.
"K. is going out with R."
I paused.
"How did that happen?" I asked.
"R. must have liked her from afar, and I guess K. got tired of being single"
(R. and my sister used to go out together. They had a nasty break up)

We talked about relationships for a while. Her other old boyfriend, G. left a weird message on my brother's answering machine. He wanted to get a hold of my sister and find out where she was staying at.

Fast forward.

"I did say that H. was on a couple of dating services, right?", I said.
"I don't think she's ready. I think she needs to be independent first, don't you think?"
"I suppose you're right", I replied
"I think you're done with that," she observed "You don't need any more 'Mama's girls'. You should be dating someone more artistic. More independent"
(She's right, you know, I say to myself)
"I always saw you as independent" she went on "Even when you were as young as seven, you were always an independent little guy"
(That was a reference to a time when the family went over to see the F. family. I decided that I was tired and I started to walk home)

We started talking about my independence. When was I going to gain my independence from H.'s family? I think I already am. I'm living on my own. I'm doing things on my own without having to call in any favors, ask them to shop for me, ask them over to clean my apartment. This is all me. I have to live on my own. That's a true sign of independence.

Fast forward.

"Call grandpa. You should call him", she said.
"I called him up and asked him how he was doing," she said mirroring what my nephew told me, "And he said that he was fine but 'Why couldn't I call him earlier?' So he's pretty much back to normal"

It sure sounds like it to me.

Rewind.

"Your brother had a dream about Dad", she said.
"He had lost a part of a Beethoven opera (whose name I can't recall) and Dad started whistling the first part to him."
Hesitantly, I started telling her about my dream about dad, Saddam and me in Iraq (that was actually India). She chuckled. I also told her about how elements of Regina, Yorkton and Charleston seem to be mixing themselves into my dream.

It was a good conversation.

Then I called grandpa.

I got his (full) answering machine.
*sigh* Alright, I'll try again later.

Hangover Dream

2004-09-11T10:53:00.000-04:00

I have a throbbing headache and feel sick. I'm still tired. I've been up until 5:00am drinking and I'm surprised I made it back home. Well, I did make it back. So after five hours and a few wacky dreams I decided to wake up and record one.

This dream is completely loaded with mistakes.

Greg and I were undercover cops. This seems to be a recent recurring theme. We were on a motorbike. As soon as we turned on what looked like highway 7 (near Interstate 26) we spotted a couple of thiefs. It looked like they stole a piece of the Cooper River bridge. They drove a 1/2 ton red Nissan truck dated from 1984 to 1986 The Cooper River bridge is on highway 17, not highway 7. It was a split highway and we needed to get on the other side of the road as quick as possible, so we decided to take the exit on the right side of the road, right before the road meets the bridge going over the water. Even though there is a road right there before the bridge, it certainly would NOT help you get to the other side of the road. The road looked like it was closed, except people were still using it. It went beneath and around the bridges.

Some people jumped out of our way as we rode the road down to what looked like a gas station. The gas station was on fire. Someone threw a red box of paint onto the building. Someone else broke the glass. Beside the gas station was a couple of semi truckers. It looked like they were staging a protest. Greg stopped the motorbike and got off (thus abandoning our chase for the thief who stole the piece of the bridge). We went up to the building to see who was doing what. We turned to one guy who said "We're tired of working for niggers". The man was black, but he has asian characteristics. Greg himself seemed to have instantaneously changed into a black man Greg isn't a black man.. When we confronted the, I guess you can call, the mouthpiece, he started becoming poetic and philosophical. He started talking about his own family. It seemed like he abandoned whatever it was he was angry at.

PS

2004-09-09T22:09:00.000-04:00

I got off the phone with my nephew. I tried to get a hold of my sister but she was out doing what she does best. Conducting her orchestra. I asked my nephew if he knew how grandpa was doing. Was he getting better or was he getting worse?

"He's getting better", replied my nephew, "But he's mad that you, your brother or my mom hasn't called often enough"

I can't think of any discussions about dreams for this entry

Fragile Dreams VI from September 8, 2004

2004-09-08T08:16:00.000-04:00

One part of the dream, I was on the beach with what appeared to be a company picnic. I say it's on a beach, but there's no sand. There's grass and water. We all were swimming. P. was nude. There were two guys who were flirting with P. I was sitting with someone else. I don't remember who. (of course I was watching P.) There was a gentle slope behind us. Beyond the clear blue lake is the city of Charleston. It must have been around West Ashley because I don't recall seeing the Cooper River bridges. There was a tall oak or elm tree to my left. It was giving us some shade.

The second part of the dream I was in Iraq. Except the map looked like India. I was there along with my dad, and Saddam Hussein. Saddam had kids trying to attack some sort of house. My dad and I lined up the windows and doors with cardboard boxes so that we can stop the kids from getting into the house. The kids then stuck themselves to the windows and doors, trying to peek inside the house. Apparently I was now on the outside. I grabbed a kid and yanked him off of the window and asked him what he was doing. My dad looked like he was in his late 40s in the dream.

A fever dream from September 7, 2004

2004-09-07T10:25:00.000-04:00

I had an allergy attack the other day which prompted Don to give me two little pink pills. They work but they make me completely drowsy. I had about three or four dreams last night due to the medication. I could only recall one.

I was part of a law enforcement team responsible for drug busts. My job is to go out on my motorbike out to the scene, first, and then call in the situation. Sort of like a scout. A large part of my team consisted of women (who resembled the team that I work with at the Medical University). They drove the heavier trucks and would respond to my reports. I would have to stay close by until they came around.

I had short length blonde hair in this dream.

One scene looked like Darlington Street in Yorkton, underneath the underpass. It was early in the evening. The sky had a darkened blue tint. I can't remember what happened after that.

Another scene happened on what looked like Broad Street in Regina, near the Armoury. Except the buildings on this part of Broad Street looked like buildings from Montague Avenue in Charleston. Members of the a latino gang were having a gun battle with automatics. I jumped from one lane to the other all the way around, out of harms way. I radio-ed in the situation and was instructed to get as close as I can without giving myself away. So I did. I can't remember what happened after that.

The third scene happened on Hagwood Street in Charleston, near the MUSC Hagwood parking tower. Except it looked different. There was a railroad track and two ditches on the left hand side of the street. We were driving down the street and for some reason I was interested in jumping across the tracks and the ditches. Except that wasn't part of the mission. We finally jumped off onto a railroad car that was stacked with heavy cases. We all started to push these heavy cases off. Someone started to push off a small box.

Someone yelled out "The radio!"

I jumped out and caught this yellow-orange box, and opened it. Inside was a laundry stand. I stood up and wondered where the radio went. A member of my team, who looked like Erica, said that she took out the radio and stored it for safe keeping. We continued to push everything off of the side of the railroad car into the ditch.

Two parts of a three part dream from September 6, 2004

2004-09-06T09:47:00.000-04:00

The first part I can't recall.

The last two parts I was able to remember.

The second part I was online reading questions posted by Tatz. It was a white screen background with some sort of script font. She was asking if some work of fiction with some long title was only available on Macintosh. She made reference to a "Next Line Feed" key on the keyboard. Someone answered back that if it had a "Next Line Feed" key, then there's a 100% chance that that particular novel is available ONLY to the Macintosh. It was one out of a list of questions. I don't think Tatz owns a Macintosh and I don't think there is such a thing as the "Next Line Feed" button. During the dream, my TV alarm clock was on A&E. Today it was a documentary about Charles Dickens.

In the third part, there was a minivan parking underneath a bridge. The bridge was either flooded or it was merely a loading dock. I was hiding in front of the grill of the van. Someone exited the van. I was watching him and his girlfriend in front of a building that was adjacant to the bridge. I can't remember what he was wearing. She was wearing a white t-shirt or sweater. She was a little overweight. She started moving upwards.

He called out "What are you doing?"

She replied "I'm not doing anything"

He called out, again "What are you doing?"

An animated dog (not Scooby) cried out from the van "We're all doomed! We're all doomed!"

She noticed that his eyes were not focused on his, they were focused on someone below her. It was the cast of Scooby-Doo, the movie (not the cartoon movies, of course). They were forming some sort of human ladder, scaling up the building. The woman with the white shirt was no longer on the top. It was now Valma on the top, Daphne below Valma, Fred below Daphe, me (playing Shaggy) below Fred and Scooby (the animated dog) below me (playing Shaggy). We were standing on each other's shoulders. It felt sort of heavy, Fred told us to told onto the the window ledges to help out with the weight. So we all did and climbed right on to our window ledges.

I have never seen the movie before

A walk down the street on September 5, 2004

2004-09-05T14:57:00.000-04:00

Last night's dream once again had multiple parts. This case there were four parts. Hard as I could try to remember them, I could only remember two. The first part was just so complicated and I was so lazy in getting out of bed and writing it down I fear it's lost. The third part I can't remember either, no matter how hard I tried to recite it.

That leaves the second and the fourth parts. There is a very simple reason for this. They're both similar.

The second part took place on a darkened street. It carries the characteristics of King Street in Charleston and 12th Avenue in Regina. It was about 11pm at night. I was walking down the left hand side of the street. Walking away from Broad St in Regina, or walking away from Calhoun St in Charleston. It had the buildings from Charleston and was about as dark as Regina. It didn't have the palmetto trees of King Street and didn't have the prostitutes of 12th Avenue. The street was about as wide as 12th Avenue, but didn't have the traffic of Chareston. There was the heat and humidity typical of a Charleston night, instead of a cool Regina night. I don't remember what I was wearing. I do remember I was wearing my comfy Dr. Scholl's brown shoes.

The fourth part continues down the very same darkened street described in the above paragraph. Except now there were people either looking for a party to go to, another bar to go to, or were heading home. They all looked well dressed. There was a black man wearing a red, white and black jersey, slightly loose black jeans and a backwards white baseball cap. I had my hands in my pockets and walked through the middle of the crowd. The black dude was playing with his fists at me and caught a fist in the crook of my arm. After carrying his fist in my arm for a little bit, I lifted my arm and continued my way home. I didn't lose my pace and I didn't turn back. I didn't think he would jump me.

I used to live with my sister and nephew on 12th Avenue up until 1999. I would take the bus from the University of Regina up until the corner of Broad and 12th, then I would walk the rest of the way home. I didn't start driving in Regina until around 1997.

On the evening of September 3, 2004, I was walking down King Street towards Kickin' Chicken (Where my favorite Raggae band, Ras Bonghi, was playing) and I walked between four tall black men who pushed me a bit. I called out back to them "Whatever".

When does a dream begin?

2004-09-02T18:13:00.000-04:00

This is from an unlikely source, Monty Python's Flying Circus:

Music comes in underneath: 'When does a dream begin'. Mix to a young airman on an airfield gazing into a WAAF's eyes. Black and white, soft focus and scratched film to look like a not very good print of a 40s film. Airman sings.

Airman (Neil Innes)

When does a dream begin?
Does it start with a goodnight kiss?
Is it conceived or simply achieved
When does a dream begin?
Is it born in a moment of bliss?
Or is it begun when two hearts are one
When does a dream exist?
The vision of you appears somehow
Impossible to resist
But I'm not imagining seeing you
For who could have dreamed of this?
When does a dream begin?
When reality is dismissed?
Or does it commence when we lose all pretence
When does a dream begin?

When does a dream begin - MP3
When does a dream begin - RealAudio

What happened on the night of September 1, 2004?

2004-09-01T19:49:00.000-04:00

I had a taco salad one hour before I went to bed last night.

I think spices and garlic enhance my dreams.

I was going to write down my dream this morning, but I was in a rush to go into the shower and head off to work at the Charleston Disabilities board. The more I wanted to forget my dream the more it stayed with me. Well part of it.

A large part I did forget. One scene stayed with me. I guess because of it's strangeness.

I was watching "Law and Order". It wasn't a familiar Law and Order. It was a Law and Order that I created in my mind.

The one scene I remembered was this:

One of the lawyers was in his upper state Manhattan apartment. The apartment suggested that he was very well off. Cutting the crap and getting right to the description: He was black, gay and living with his black lover. They both had short hair, and light brown skin. One was wearing a moustache.

The scene was set up as such:

We (the audience) are shown around the apartment.
He leans in off camera to give his lover a kiss.
The camera moves in to the two men giving each other their affections for each other.

Now I have to prepare for Hurricane Francis. Will it ever end?

PS.

2004-08-30T21:48:00.000-04:00

This entry sort of screws up the theme of this blog.

My aunt called and left a message. I called her back. She was with my grandpa. She told me some good news. My grandfather is doing okay. The skin graft operation went well. His hand is healing. His leg is really bothering him. A nurse is going to be coming over to help him with his medication and helping him out a bit. My Aunt told me that grandpa won't be needing my help for a while but thanked me for being the person to rely on.

This comes to me as a relief.

I called my sister to relay the news. She called my grandfather's neighbour the other day. Howard, who is a wonderful guy, said that he really should be in a home or have someone to look after him. Grandfather is living in a house that's too big for just one person and he's trying to do too much. I agree, of course. We'll see what happens.

According to my sister, after my brother finishes school this December said he would volunteer helping out with Grandpa.

I also relayed to my sister about my dream of the school/university dream. She felt that the dream has an aura of newness. The university in the dream felt old, established, but it looked new, the semester was beginnning and everyone was very well dressed. Everything felt new.

She felt a sense of new-ness from her bathtub dream. She also felt a sense of newness from this dream that I told her about.

Perhaps this is a start of a cycle of new-ness. Walter, the cop, is right. I don't have anything to worry about.

Regards and kudos!

2004-08-30T17:14:00.000-04:00

I was googling Dream Journals and I came upon five. One of which was Lachesis. On August 29, 2004, he posted a dream about being in Disney World. I had a dream in which Disney Land was a central theme...or symbol. It also prompted the question of what Disneyland/world is supposed to represent. He offered this insight:

"I also see the idea of the Disney parks as an ideal of innocence, being a child, enjoying things as a child might. We're preparing for a return trip their soon, having last visited four years ago when my kids were very small"

I've never been to a Disney park. But linking it with an ideal of innocence makes perfect sense to me.

I'm looking forward to reading some more of your dreams, Lachesis! I'm glad I ran into you!

Was it a college or was it high school?

2004-08-30T16:30:00.000-04:00

It was a hallway for some sort of education institute. It was a dark polished oak. The floor looks recently polished. There were framed windows here and there. We were sitting on a backless bench.

There were four people sitting with me. All of them were from my Sacred Heart High School class from Yorkton. Jason and Darren. I'm not sure who the other two were. They could very well be Trevor and Lawrence, Trevor and Matt, Matt and Lawrence, Kyle and Trevor. I don't know. They were interchangable. We were all wearing dress suits.

We were all waiting for the next class. I think it was the start of the semester. Jason bought a textbook for this advanced course in applied mathematics. Everyone on the bench was talking about the course. I think everyone was prepared except for me. I was the only one who was deciding on whether or not to take this course. I was also bopping my head to a CD by "Prefuse-73". Apparently I was the only one who could hear the music

Jason had his textbook on a page about Canadian time zones. He then started talking about it as though he were familiar with the mathematical problems and concepts behind time zones. Everyone sitting on the bench seemed familiar with the material.

Once again, I didn't say anything, but was bopping my head to the music. Darren looked at me as though he wanted my input. I couldn't give any. I was taking a "wait and see" approach. Sort of like "Wait until I take the class, then I'll tell you what I think"

I woke up because I was late for work. My co-worker was also late.

I don't know where else to post this

2004-08-28T12:36:00.000-04:00

August 28, 2004, in the morning my grandfather in Fort Benton, Montana was carrying down the A/C unit by himself. He noticed that there was a huge water leak in the basement. He took out his vacuum cleaner and started to clean up. He electrocuted himself. My aunt and next door neighbours found him. My aunt was in a panic and called my sister. My sister must have thought about this long and hard and called me. My sister is a full time teacher who has built up a career for herself. She has an intern. She has a son. She has responsibilities around the house in Regina. My brother needs to finish his degree. He's two classes away from graduating. He doesn't want that interrupted. He doesn't want to drag that any farther then it's supposed to. So it falls onto me. It's not a comfortable position to be in, but I'm the only one who's built up enough time and resources to be an emergency contact. Seven weeks of time built up.

That includes the two week Christmas block that I want to spend with my family in Fort Benton and Regina.

That also includes one week in Guelph to see a dear friend. I'm sorry if I'm sounding selfish, but I want to salvage the week in Guelph. It's meant for me to be away from everyone and everything, take some time to myself and get reacquainted with K. So help me, I'm going to save that one week.

All of my selfish intentions aside, I do not want to be pulled into Fort Benton to live there, to be Grandpa's servant. I want to try to talk grandpa into having a live-in RN or moving into assisted living. But I feel strongly that he's got pride. He doesn't want to leave the house that he literally built. But he's still family. He's still part of where I am today. Really. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be here in South Carolina, living in a one bedroom apartment working at the Medical University working on a nation-wide study about autism.

So here is where dreams come in. My sister had two dreams about mom. My brother had a dream about my dad. I have this dream about my dad. My sister told me about her two dreams about mom. In one dream, we were up on a balcony, she was conducting. Mom told her that she was doing a terrific job and that she was proud of her. My sister felt pretty good upon awaking from the dream. In the other dream, we were back in the house in Yorkton. Everything looked the same except the tub was moved into their bedroom. It was a half a tub (Think: Alice in Wonderland). My sister asked my mom if the tub would spill, my mom told her not to worry. According to my sister, like magic, the water stayed inside this half a tub. What are these dreams trying to tell us? We were talking about that and somehow our conversation went like this: We have pretty much been living our own lives. Would mom and dad want us to drop everything, stop whatever it is we're doing, give up on our dreams, quit our jobs, give up on everyone just so that we could go back and be Grandpa's house servant? Of course not.

Does that sound rude? Yes it does.

My sister, god bless her, has carried the burden of being the first born and as a result, responsible for EVERYTHING that has been going on.

So now the torch has been passed on to me.

I'm going to help out Grandpa, should the need arise.

But now I'm faced with a problem that deals with my selfish intentions. My trip to Guelph is on the line. I know what's going to happen. I'm going to start lying about how many days I have off. This is a family responsibility...but then I rewind a few paragraphs ago about my own life, desires, and dreams. I want this time off, I need this time off. I haven't seen K in years. Family responsibility. John time. Family. John. Them. Me. Us. I.

So forgive me if this message sounds a lot like me pacing back and forth muttering "What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?" because that's exactly what I'm doing. Later this afternoon, I'm going to give my grandpa's neighbours a call to let them know that I, and not my sister, would be the contact emergency person. Later tonight, I shall resign myself to my fate.

I'm going to try everything that I can to save that one week that I promised to myself and then argue to myself if I got my priorities in order.

Cue the Flintstones, the ham and Swiss cheese sandwich and the stucco that just fell from my ceiling and make a mental note to call the landlord.

5:16pm August 28, 2004 - I'm the world's worst liar. I couldn't bring myself to tell them that I had six weeks or leave time. I said that I have four weeks of sick leave that I could use and I'm hesitant to use my three weeks vacation time, but it's there to use if needed. My stubborn, selfish side refuses to give up that one week. It's an internal battle. It's good that I'm there to help out my grandpa, but, I argue, I need time to myself, too. So buck up, I say, you can do this.

2:18am August 29, 2004 - Hurricane Gaston is bearing down on Charleston. It's a category 1 storm. It's bad, but it's not that bad. I will help out. I'm not worried about money. I'm not going to budge on my week in Guelph. No matter what grandpa says, that's my time. I need that to myself. The landlord told me that the stucco work is subcontracted to the painters, who won't be available until Monday. I hate infomercials. I'm going to sleep, now.

Sleep walking

2004-08-27T18:54:00.000-04:00

I witnessed it happening twice.

The first time was at Christmas back in the mid to late 80s. B was in the hallway. I thought B was awake. We talked for a bit. B sat on the deacon's bench for a while and then I think B went back downstairs. I was up around 5:30am or 6:30am.

The second time was around 1993, I awoke to the sound of B coughing and hacking. I thought B was sick. I looked around towards the kitchen, half asleep, trying to see what was going on. It worried me. Two hours later, the light was on in the kitchen. A police officer was there talking with my mom. The next day, I talked to B about what happened. B thought that his friend's house across the street was on fire. In his sleepwalking state, he went across the street to knock on their door. I think the police officer was called in to help B home.

The basement room has always been a source of such sleepwalking dreams.

I don't know if B approves of me writing this.

Two different dreams about two different people

2004-08-26T18:47:00.000-04:00

The first dream I had before I graduated from university, around late 2000 or early 2001.

She was my second ex-girlfriend, Linda. She was with me throughout the dream. She was a good lover. For some reason I cannot remember the sex, all I can remember is that it did happen. She did follow me everywhere I went. I remember her at my house and at the the entrance of Campion/Luther College. She never went to the U of Regina, she went to SIAST. I do remember that her hygiene wasn't the greatest and she was trailing me to the point of being uncomfortable.

That's about what I can recall from that dream. I told my sister about the dream and she asked me if I had unfinished buisness with Linda. We haven't seen each other since '98. I said no, I don't think we had any unfinished buisness. This dream happened the night before my nephew's outdoor soccer tournament.

The second dream I had around 1998 or 1999.

He was about 6"1', skinny, dressed like a rocker and was carrying a wooden crane. It wasn't a straight cane, but it looked like a root or a branch or something. I can't recall what he said, but he was loud, obnoxious and insulted everyone that he saw. I turned and started to walk away in disgust. He approached me. He looked calm now, spoke in either a bad British accent or a faked British accent. He told me that he was sorry and he apologized. I replied either "G-get away" or "N-no". I do recall a stutter. I didn't want to offend him, but I felt that I couldn't be around someone who would offend everybody.

The dream clearly took place at the University of Regina. The man was insulting everyone on the ground floor, on top of the pit. I turned my back and walked upstairs to the second floor going towards the registration desk. He stopped and he followed me up to the second floor.

It's time for an interpretation.

2004-08-26T00:03:00.000-04:00

Using my very first dream entry I'm going to use two books: "The Dreamer's Dictionary" by Lady Stearn Robinson and Tom Corbett and "The Dream Directory" by David C. Lohff

Automobile - The meaning of a dream involving a motorcar depends very much on its aspect. If the car was merely a means of transportation, it has, in itself, no particular significance, and other details of the dream should be carefully considered But the car is a central theme to the dream. ... if the engine lost power of stalled or if you run out of gas, you could be embarrassed by misplacing your confidence and/or affections. I'm going to have to go with "misplacing my confidence" except the car didn't stop by itself, I stopped on request of the policeman. Maybe my confidence or affections is being re-directed?

Hills - Another obstacle dream. The higher the hill, the greater the obstacle, but other factors must be correlated. If this was an obstacle dream, then I think I'm sufficiently prepared to handle whatever the obstacle is.

Black - An unfavorable omen unless it featured in a funeral or other appropriate situation, in which case it forecasts difficulties to be overcome The black car and the hilly city do suggest that this is an obstacle dream.

Nephew - ...other relatives (apart from immediate family) are an omen of help when needed. Of course the dream action must be correkated to get an accurate interpretation Fascinating.

Road - ...unpaved, bumpy, narrow, or twisting roads represent difficulties to be overcome, and the meaning of the dream will depend on the outcome of your dream action in relation to the road. I was at a three way stop. The road really was not at top notch condition and I did come out of a windy road. This does fit well with the rest of the symbolism of the dream

Police - Police in your dream are a symbol of security in your life... Security with the policemen and help from my nephew. Whatever obstacle this seems to represent, I'm not going to go in without help or back up.

Officer - If your dream featured a police officer, it forecasts an embarrassment due to the financial carelessness of a friend or relation...I'm going to discard this definition for now. It doesn't seem to fit with the rest of the symbols.

Friends - Any demonstration of true friendship in a dream is a straightforward prediction of happy social times with good companions...I couldn't find co-worker. Walter, however, did tell me not to worry. I took that as a sign of true friendship within the dream. So in this obstacle that I'm supposed to overcome, not only would I have help and security with me, but I also have friends. I guess that's why this obstacle dream doesn't look like an obstacle dream

Left - If your dream featured the left side of anything or a left turn or direction, it is telling you not to be discouraged by a temporary setback; perseverate and you will ultimately attain your goal This is becoming straight forward, isn't it?

The Dreamer's Dictionary suggests that in this dream, I have been faced with some obstacle. It's not a huge obstacle. I can handle it with all of the resources that I have. But it is an obstacle of some sort. I seem to be getting the message to not give up and tap into my resources in case things happen to go wrong.

Cars - Often times, the car is simply the best mode of transportation within a dream. In that case the rest of the dream is more important than the car itself. However, if the dream includes significant data about the car, that image may be worth a deeper look. Indeed the car is a central theme in my dream ...Driving a car is roughly the opposite of being a passenger in one. However, the passengers may reflect persons to whom you feel an acute sense of responsibility In this case, my nephew Again, they may be figures from almost any area of your life. What is important is how you relate to them and how you all agree or differ in your destination My nephew was a passenger in the car. He didn't seem to have a problem where I was going to. I haven't considered this possibility before. Perhaps the obstacle is coming home

Children - Children are fasinating characters in dreams because they reflect so honestly our own thoughts and feelings. Children are often afraid of what is worth being feared, have deeply feld senses of right and wrong and show reckless abandon in both likes and dislikes.... So my nephew could very well be representing a part of myself If you know the child in waking and dreaming, this may reflect a wish fulfillment or projection Seems out of place, but I'll buy that premise. The main puzzle piece to discern is the nature of your activity and the relationship with the child After a few moments of thought, I was probably driving my nephew home

Journey - The longer one's life, the more apparent it becomes that life is not a destination, but rather a journey of searching for meaning, understanding, and ultimately happiness. Bingo. While we don't necessarily characterize our dreams as journeys, there is a sense in which our waking journey is sometimes affected by our most powerful or memorable dreams. Many dreams include needing to travel from A to B before progress is made in completing the dream task. Many times, this traveling is the challenge. In this case, with the car, it didn't feel like a challenge ...the journey is often a symbol for trying to find what is needed to bring life into equilibrium. This is the task of finding one's place in the universe...Is your destination known to others, or held in confidence Good question. I don't even remember where we were going. Do others invite you to accompany them, vice versa, or are you on a solitary trip? My neph was already in the car. My trip is not solitary. Can others direct you, or are you traveling to an unknown place? It's an unknown place, but I feel like I know where I'm going

Relatives - ...To interpret dreams of this kind, discern what relatives were in the dream My nephew and whether they are still living Yes or dead No in waking life.

The Dream Dictionary is giving me a different meaning. There is not situation. It could very well be that I dearly miss home and that I'm still carrying my memories with me.

Media integration from August 25, 2004

2004-08-25T12:25:00.000-04:00

This is the second time (that I'm aware of) in which some sort of media integrated itself into my dreams. I thought I could go on the day and just forget the dream because I have work to do. It refuses to leave my head...So if I must, I must:

It started with a "Fast motion camera". It looked like some sort of hobby room because it was so messy and busy. There was a man and I think someone else was there. I didn't know who. There was a card game. And then the man placed a vibrating football game on the table. The ball moved and the players would move in such a way where all you really need to do is watch. You hope that your side would intercept the football and prevent it from going inside the goal.

The man had straight short dark brown hair, a red shirt, a few pounds. He sort of looked like Joe Flarhety.

The vibrating football game had black and white Saskatchewan Roughrider decal game stickers. On the game table, there were green and white and black and green football players. The black and green football players just scored a goal.

Then the dream shifted to on the football field. I was on there. There was a helicopter. It crashed but bounced back onto the football field. This football field wasn't on grass or "Astro-turf". It was on cardboard with a shiny flawless surface. Or at least it was. After the helicopter bounced itself upright onto the field, there was a helicopter blade mark on the field.

A general stepped out on to the field and asked me "What are you doing in Saskatchewan?".

I was sent in somewhere for recon duty. It was in some sort of stronghold (prison?) made entirely of bricks. It looked pretty run down. I was wearing a decorated uniform carrying my gun and whatever it is a soldier would carry.

Last thing I remember I was on a tire swing inside this brick stronghold/prison. There was a group of hecklers. I turned to them and started to intimidate them, making threatening remarks and giving them the finger. The swing was going around in wider circles, the jeering from the hecklers and my intimidating remarks started to heat up pretty good.

I woke up to my TV, which was on A&E. On A&E was some sort of Cold War movie. I was mixing in elements from the Cold War movie with my dream. Specifically, some of the voices of the actors including, I think, Sydney Poitier, and the incidental plot music.

Let's share the short stuff

2004-08-24T13:31:00.000-04:00

Tell me a short, mundane dream that you had.

By now you must have read a few of mine.

A dream about St. Alphonsus School from early 2004

2004-08-24T13:21:00.000-04:00

While I was cooking and watching "Time and Tide", I started to recall another dream that I had some time early this year. I'm afraid I really can't pinpoint the date or even the month. It's a good thing I started this journal, isn't it?

I was at St. Alphonsus School in Yorkton, Saskatchewan, Canada for a reunion.
I was on the basketball court in front of the classroom extension that was built back in (I think) 1986.
I was talking with Fawn. We seemed to be on very friendly terms.
This was odd because Fawn and I never got along
We retreated to around the back of the extension and we engaged in a threesome.
I was on the bottom.
Fawn was on top of me.
Another man was having sex with her.
I couldn't see his face, I could only look up to his waist.
I was still in my clothes.
I was only allowed to fondle Fawn's breasts. That was all.
After the sex, we went back to the party.
Fawn cried, apologized to me, hugged me and then walked away.

I never recalled speaking in this dream.

Submitted for (hopeful) approval

2004-08-23T23:06:00.000-04:00

I sent in two dreams to Slow Wave. They get roughly about 15 dreams a day and they don't use all of them. So I might not get mine illustrated. But it doesn't hurt to try.

I've submitted my Bad Sci-Fi Movie dream and Part One of my dual dream.

Eventually, I would like to sketch something from my dreams. But for the next few days I'm going to be working at home again. My boss gave us another assignment to do and told us that we can do it at home...again.

Yes! Lets!

2004-08-23T16:42:00.000-04:00

I think it's time I submit something to Slow Wave

Experiment failed and resulting dream from Sunday, August 22

2004-08-22T13:05:00.000-04:00

I thought I could pick up some of my sleep talking. It didn't happen. I even tried to recite a phone number that I saw in my dream while I was dreaming. I don't think it did very well. Either it didn't pick up or I could make myself speak while dreaming (or maybe it was part of the dream).

In any case, last night's dream was interesting.

I was at a strip club that was selling tickets for a walking tour/play. What it is, I couldn't remember. The strip club was catering to the general public. That is, people and kids of all ages were coming in to see this walking tour/play. My pockets were full of stuff...coins, my wallet, $60 in $20 bills, some bubble gum wrappers and other garbage.

There was a photocopier there that had a circular opening on the top. Inside this opening was four compartments. In one of the compartments, I placed in all of my coins. I thought they would be safe there, except it wasn't the most logical place for them any anyone can steal those coins. I went out on the tour/play.

I can't remember any details about the tour/play.

I came back into the strip club, sat down, all slouched-like. Sliding the cushion out from underneath me. While I was shifting all of the contents emptied my pockets: more coins, the $60, my wallet and some more small wrappers.

A dancer approached the couch. She was a nude dancer. She pressed her body against the couch. I leaned in and managed to have her boob pressed against my face. She didn't seem to complain any. She stood up and walked away. I stood up and looked at the mess I made on the couch. Tristian Miller saw the $60 and said those where his. I told him to "Fuck off. Here, just take thse quarters". Which he did. I gathered up the rest of the coins, the bills and the wallet.

I turned towards the photocopier to store the coins again. Jason Hubbs approached me and told me that I was crazy. He shoo-ed me away from the photocopier. I opened the compartment and found that the coins I had in there before are gone now. Jason shoo-ed me away, again. I complied, sighed and started to leave the club. I was done and it was time for me to head home.

Jason Hubbs was someone from Yorkton.
Tristian Miller was someone from the U of Regina.
The stripper definately looked like someone from Charleston.

Experiment I

2004-08-21T22:01:00.000-04:00

This is an Olympus VN-120. I bought mine today. It is a voice activatd digital recorder with 2 hours worth of recording time. I have been known to talk in my sleep under certain conditions. I will attempt to re-create these same conditions and see if I can record myself. If successful, I shall post a transcript tomorrow. The conditons created are thus: No comforter. Wear only T-shirt and boxers. Lower the thermostat to 65-70 degrees.

A dream from 3:30pm, Friday August 20

2004-08-20T23:06:00.000-04:00

My boss told us that we only had to fill an Excel spreadsheet so we got permission to work home on Thursday and Friday. Today, I got so sick of looking at numbers and filling in the spreadsheet that I took a nap. I was tired from the night before of going out. Tonight I'm planning on going out again. I took a nap in my room and I had a heck of a late afternoon dream

It was sort of a split dream.

One side of the split, I was sitting in a bedroom. There was a "gutter" between the carpet and the wall that must have been 2 3/4" wide. Just enough space for the A/C grill. Below the carpet was good quality polished hardwood. I was facing north. My blue cell phone was in the direct sunlight. I picked it up and it was heating up.

The other side of the split, I was being trained for a boxing match. I was in a gym. To an onlooker, this would have been funny since I do not have the body of a boxer. I was practicing my hits, my blocks and undercuts (Which I think are illegal). It was also on a clear sunny day. It was clearly a gym. There was exercise equipment and not that many working out.

Symbol Description - Exercise III

2004-08-20T09:47:00.000-04:00

For this exercise, I shall take three separate symbols and describe them as best as I can. I'm going to use the first of my Fragile Dreams series. There won't be any stream of consciousness writing for this exercise. But this does have to be descriptive. That is, if I were to draw or paint a picture, I'd use this information.

Kathryn:
Kathryn was wearing tan or beige clothing.
Slacks and a short sleeve dress shirt.
She was wearing glasses.
Her hair was a light brown, not a dark brown as I remembered her.
She seemed interested in looking around my apartment.
Her hair looked good.
She looked well, fit, happy and beautiful as always.
She was sitting on the couch.
She gave a good smile and we maintained eye contact.
Rapport was established with ease.
Her eyes were a brown colour.
Her wheelchair was completely absent from my dream.
The focus was entirely on her.
She was there to visit.
She didn't appear to live there.

The couch
The couch that I own is a blue loveseat with minimalist design trim.
The couch in the dream was a lighter tan then Kathryn's clothes, such that you can tell the two apart.
It was a full sized chesterfield.
There was a purple and blue flower design trim.
It looks like in good shape.
Actually, it looks new.
There wasn't any arms on the couch.
The couch that I own has a "hump" on the back.
The couch in my dream had no such "humps", but the back was fully supported.
I own four red pillows.
In the dream, there weren't any pillows on the couch, except for the three "pillows" that lined the back of the couch.
My couch has a skirt covering the legs.
The couch in the dream has no such skirt.
The couch in the dream has short rounded legs, giving it low ground clearance.
My couch isn't the world's most comfortable couch.
The one in my dream does look very comfy.

The apartment
Looking towards Kathryn, my apartment (setting of the dream) is mapped as thus:
To the front, going to the far left, and turning to the right is the entrance way.
To the front, going to the far left, and making a right before the entrance way is the screened porch.
To the front and the right is the living room.
To the front and the left is the kitchen area with a dining bar.
There is no kitchen table.
Behind me and on my left is the bathroom.
Directly behind me is my bedroom.
The bathroom, bedroom, screened porch and entrance way were not visible in my dream, but I knew they were there.
The floor was clean.
There was a heavy sheet of plastic underneath the couch.
There were sandals beside the couch.
The sandals were a dark oak/brown color. They look well worn.
I own three barstools, a chair and a plant.
None were present in the dream.
My dining bar is cluttered.
It wasn't in my dream.
My entertainment center was more closer to the hallway in my dream.
I own a fibreboard entertainment center.
In the dream the entertainment center was made out of metal.
Even the speakers were on the metal entertainment center.
I had a separate stand for my DVDs.
In the dream I didn't see any DVDs or movies of any kind.
I don't recall the TV being on.
The room was pretty quiet.
I usually have the screen porch open for my cats.
In the dream the screen porch was closed and I don't recall seeing any cats.
Everything else looked like it should be.
Except the apartment felt bigger than it was supposed to be.
It was night. About 9:00pm.
I could tell because it was dark outside.
There were clocks but I didn't bother looking at the time.

A very bad Sci-Fi movie dream from August 20, 2004

2004-08-20T09:27:00.000-04:00

I couldn't place the setting, but the carpet looked like mine.
There was a hallway.
There is an intersecting hallway
There is a chair on either side of the intersecting hallway, right in the middle.

There was also a CB radio being broadcast.

I was being cornered and trapped.
Two people were trying to get me, one was Richard Dean Anderson.

The CB radio said something about kangaroo rats being a threat.

I was some sort of infected kangaroo rat.
I started jumping like a kangaroo. I don't know if a kangaroo rat jumps.
One was to scare me out of the corner and the other one was to capture me with their hands.
Richard Dean Anderson was the one to scare me.
I jumped up high and poisoned the other man.

I was clearly an actor. I "poisoned" by way up jumpng on the body, making a sucking sound and doing something with my hands. I didn't puncture any skin or do anything that is considered a method of poisoning.

I jumped to the other side of the hallway.
Richard Dean Anderson approached me.
I jumped up and "poisoned him".

I then started walking through the main hallway.
My thought here was: Jesus, this carpet needs vacuuming

The CB radio came back on. The voice was in a panic. They wanted to know if the team was all right, asking if there were any survivors. No one, of course, replied.

I turned around and walked back.
The slumped body of Richard Dean Anderson now looked like a sleeping body of my cat, Abagail. I touched the body on it's side and it was Abagail, my cat. She woke up.

Stream of consciousness - Exercise II

2004-08-19T14:54:00.000-04:00

The next exercise I'm going to perform here is a stream of consciousness based on one particular symbol of a dream. For this exercise, I shall be focusing on the woman in the pinstripe suit who removed her pink towel. [from the second part] I shall write whatever comes to mind. If I make a spelling mistake, leave it and go on. Also to keep on looking forward and not to stop to read what I have already written.

You have been warned.

This isn't the same woman. She's supposed to be the same. Wearing all of those rags, she looks like a completely different person. When she was wearing the pink towel she was a different person. But she she showed off her black pinstripe suit, she looked different. But they were all the same woman. She was wearing glasses. She skirt was knee-high. Professional, sassy and sexy. She looked like Rhonda Bort. I went to school with her. Nice girl. I was hard on her, so eas everyone. She liked different music, had different tastes. She was a 60s girl and dressed the part. Why didn't I treat her better? I had my chance and I should have been nicer to her. I don't know where she is now. No one knows. There was a letter that we got from class to a reunion that I couldn't afford to attend. Rhonda was someone that they needed to find. Have they found her? I hope she's okay. I remember taking on her interests a little late. I was angry with myself when my friend Claude discovered her in a gay club in Saskatoon. Claude was a better friend to Rhonda then I was. When Claude said that Rhonda was bi, it didn't surprise me. It didn't matter. I usually shrug these things off. A person's sexuality doesn't cover a person's attitutde and personality. Unless they choose to. There she was strutting down the audience. There was applause and one heckler. There is always the one heckler. But was it planned? It seemed like it. I didn't find it fair. She seemed really attractive and looked almost off limits. Why did I call her my "dream girl?" because now she doesn't seem to fit the category anymore. She seems to now fit a part of my personality personified by a familiar person. What could she represent? Undiscovered beauty would make sense. Before she was this massive, or seemingly massive woman draped on layer upon layer upon layer upon layer of cloths and rags. That wasn't a spelling mistake. They were cloths. Not clothes. They were there to conceal her. Concealing if she was fat? God no. She wasn't fat. Beauty, appearences. MAybe the dream is telling me not to be so vain about appearances. But I know that. I think I'm really harsh on outward appearances. Underneath everyone is a model. We need to throw off those rags and cloths that is concealing our inner beautiful self. Yes that does include me too. I hit myself for not being a stud, or a good looking man. But if I said I was would people laugh at me? Does it matter any more? If I were to shake my head give a chuckle and say "No no no", it's not going to change anyone's mind. I would rather be timid about my looks. Timid doesn't work here. What's the right word? Underappreciating? You know what, it doesn't matter. It's like the Star Trek episode with the sugar pill from Mudd. They were ugly women, but after they took this sugar pill, they became beautiful. We're all sexy beings. We're all human. We have imperfections, but what about our perfections? The good in everyone, or rather the goodlooking in everyone? If we were to struggle, not struggle, explain or photograph one good quality in everyone, wouldn't that be better then to amplify the ugly? I don't believe in ugly people. But what about me? Am I ugly? I have had people, okay women, tell me that I'm not. But were they saying that because they thought it is something that I wanted to hear? No. No, that's the wrong train of thought. If I were to receive a nice compliment, accept it. That's what I look like, that's what I am. Practice what I preach. If someone tells me that I have a young face and a fit body, why complain? I should not complain. Anyone could be a model. Anyone. It takes a sense of pride in oneself. But on the other side of the coin, we all have an ugly side. We must make use of that too. She used humour and acrobatic skills. Those are metaphors. We all use acrobatics and humor to deal with our ugly sides and our ugly self. If we're fat, we start making fat jokes and then either use diet and exercise or attempt to use diet and exercise to change the fat, or get fatter. People worry about others getting fatter because it's unhealthy. Maybe the lesson of the dream is to accept our beauty and AND accept our ugliness, instead of retaining our ugliness and not do anything to change it. That's unhealthy. If it doesn't work out, crack a joke, try again. Get rid of the hype, the bathing suit that doesn't want to fit you. Why are you keeping it if it's complicated? We don't want to look like a supermodel or live the life of one. People do. Do they have ugly sides? They must have. Self worth. It's a measure of self worth. Can you balance your own beauty and your own ugliness keeping both in check? Or do you let one outweigh the other? Dispense with the rags, dispense with the bathing suit, wear the pinstripe suit that speaks out to everyone and says "I'm sexy, everyone! And I don't give a damn what you think". Or maybe you do, but for the moment, don't care. It will only ruin your night if your thoughts are on your chubby thighs. That's immaterial. No one cares. Not even the one your dating because they're worried about their pot belly. But the dream isn't about dating. She wore glasses, had a professional hair cut, wore a professional suit, and looked sexy. But she could be anyone. That's the magic and beauty of it.

Stream of consciousness - Exercise I

2004-08-18T23:57:00.000-04:00

I had a book once about dream exercises and dream magicks. It was during a time when I thought it would be cool to get involved with some kind of mysticism. Most magicks scares the crap out of me. Even the good magicks. I've decided on dream magicks because at least I have some sort of control. They're nothing more then methods of concentration and meditation. The one exercise I'm going to perform here is a stream of consciousness. I will be using this dream for this exercise. Keeping this dream in mind, I write whatever comes to mind. If I make a spelling mistake, leave it and go on. Also to keep on looking forward and not to stop to read what I have already written.

You have been warned.

There wasn't any line-up. When I entered the dream I was in the cable car. It wasn't a cable car. It was a grey metal bucket, pretty thick walls. Other cable cars could hold two people. Mine didn't. It didn't have any wheels overhead, either. It was fixed on the cable. I don't know how far apart each cable car was. On the same line on the other side, they cable cars seem so close together. I don't know how high up I was. I'm usually nautious. Not here. There wasn't any anxiety, sweaty palms, white knuckles or any fear. Was I afraid of heights? Not here. Was it because I'm aware that it's a dream? Did the cable car twist, roll up and down like an amusement ride? It was an amusement ride, wasn't it? I have seen roller coasters where the tracks go along side other buildings and building fixtures. It was on a kids science show with Bob MacDonald a long time ago. Why couldn't I see anyone ahead of me? I was more interested in looking over the sides. I wanted to see what was on the left and the right and over the car. Sort of. I did recall anxiety now. I was almost afraid to look underneath the cable car when it was over the entrance of Disneyworld. How did I know this was disneyworld? It's strange. There wasn't any Epcot center. No Mickey Mouse or Goofy. No Magic Kingdom. Why was I so sure this was Disneyland? Underneath me were buildings in yellow/gold tint, green trees and I saw red, green and blue baloons. To the right of me, I sensed an iron door. The cable car stopped. Why did it stop? It stopped because it was part of the ride. This is interesting. The rest of the ride was smooth and uninterrupted. Now over the entrance, it stopped. It slowed and it stopped. Then it picked up speed again. Now I'm reminded of skiing down Duck Mountain when I was going through St. Al's and Sacred Heart HS in Yorkton, going up the T-bar. Then it was the first time I looked straight ahead. There were some really tall trees ahead of me. There was an opening in the trees. There was a building ahead of me. I was going to go through an opening. Now I remember a program on the Travel channel where people are taken on a behind the scenes tour of Disneyland. I must be on a tour, a ride and then a tour. Going inside the building, I think I'm in the animation studio! This must be where all the animators come in to perform their labor and do their magic. Except it's deserted. There's no one here. Are they out for lunch? No, that can't be it. I must have gotten here after hours. After five o'clock everyone leaves for home. The cable car stops and I get off. What could be here? The cable car stops at the far right hand side of the room beside a row of windows. There's a door on the left. I leave the car and I go through the door. It's pretty dark in the hall, isn't it? There's two girls following me. This isn't an animation studio any more, it's a college dorm. How did that happen. How do I know it's a college dorm? This must be where animators are trained before they enter the field. Disney University, maybe? Who are these two girls. They seem to want me to hang with them. Maybe they're friends. I don't sense any sexual connection. I don't even sense any friendship connection. They can't be friends, but they must want me to hang around with them for some reason. Maybe for conversation. MAybe because they have nothing better to do today. We turn a left. We go down the hallway. That must be their room. Last room on the right hand side towards the window. Or is that a fire exit? We turn to the door. It has a golden half globe keyhole. That's a pretty strange keyhole. It doesn't look secure. There's a triangular opening near the bottom. I think I see a five pointed star outline. Or was it six? or nine? It's a star outline. A reddish outline? an orange-ish outline? The key better fit. She pulled out a key. It looks like a sardine key. A golden sardine key with a golden half global top on it. That's a key? I could design a better one. Oh my god, what kind of security is this? She puts the key in the bottom of the triangle, pulls to the top and turns clockwise. The door opens. Well it works. But I feel more secure with a traditional lock and key or key lock. I hope they have better security on the lower floors. I didn't recall seeing any stair cases. It could be behind these doors but there wasn't any visible stair cases. We must be at least 10 or 20 stories up. Where are the other roommates? The floor seemed empty except for the three of us. We entered her room and approached another global golden key on the corner of the room. She used her key and turned it clockwise. We left. That's strange. Was that all that we came in here for? There was a bed on the left hand side of the room. It's not made. There's a bookshelf to the immediate left of me, near the center of the room. I can't guess what they are. They're probably a mix of required reading and books that she reads for leisure. How many shelves? I think five shelves full of books. The room isn't really all that tidy. Typical college student. Better kept then some, I think. We exited the room quickly and then we went towards the window or posible fire escape. We did not go back to the drawing room. The cable was was waiting for us. All three of us. She took the key out yet again and used it on the window. The window started to swing open outwards from left to right. The car was bobbing up and down slightly. I was meant to jump into it. I stood on the ledge ready to jump in. Could it carry all three of us? I thought it could only hold one or two. How is it supposed to hold three? Do we continue on with the tour? Why is it so dark out? It feels like it's 7:00pm, no 8:00pm outside. It's pitch black with trees and lights below me. Was this part of the ride or did this go somewhere else. Looking outside, it didn't feel like 10 or 20 floors anymore. It looked like 15 floors. One wrong move and I plumet to the ground. It wasn't very safe, but I feel like I could make it. Did I jump? I was prepared to. So why didn't I jump before I woke up? One blonde girl and one dark haired brunette. The dark haired brunette figured prominently over the blonde. Why is that? She isn't the "girl of my dreams". She really did feel like a student and someone who I haven't met yet. We didn't exchange names. Why wasn't I more courteous? I should have said something, but I didn't. Why was I so quiet? Even on the cable car I didn't make any sarcastic remarks. Not even when two girls hit their heads on a construction beam. We were told to duck and they didn't listen. Those two girls and the ones that were with me when we went to the dorm room were not the same. The two that got hit were more airheads. These two were very hard workers. They looked dedicated to their work anyway. Why do I remember the rules? Don't put your arms out. Don't put your feet out. Duck. What an unsafe ride this is. There's hazards and dangers. Okay, they are subtle hazards and dangers, especially with the construction beams sticking out. I mean it makes sense to duck. The airheads didn't. They weren't badly hurt or got concussions. It was just a quick beam to the head, they ducked and then they were all right. They didn't feel any pain and never got any bruises. I surely would have ducked. Do I just follow all of the rules?

The Mysterious Dark Haired Woman - from 1992

2004-08-17T19:29:00.000-04:00

I was on a main street in Yorkton.
The police station, the Co-Op [now a Casino] is behind me on the left hand side of the street.
The church and the art gallery was on the right hand.
There was some sort of a haze all around me.
Everything appeared in black white or is some sort of shade of grey.
It was early to mid morning.
She stood in front of me, facing me.
I couldn't make out her features.
She did have longer-than-shoulder-length hair.
She smiled at me. She didn't show any teeth, but it was a warm smile.
I don't know why I remembered that

An epic underwater dream - February 2004

2004-08-17T17:56:00.000-04:00

I was in an old building, inside a room full of reference books.
With me is an Asian companion. We were talking to an older man about something.
We were going to be sent on a mission.
As we got to the basement, I realized that the building was underwater.
We had some sort of scuba gear on.
We started running towards the "objective". It was a building far off in the distance.

There was some sort of "arcade" intermission.
There was a wave of blue stingrays swimming around me, past me and through me.
I was supposed to "steer" around the stingrays.
I knew they weren't dangerous.
They were rushing somewhere, probably for migration.
By the time I broke off, I ended up in front of the "objective".
I entered the building.
It was filled with files.
It had a sort of musky atmosphere to it.
There were shelves and old cardboard boxes of files, lining up the hallway like a sort of maze.
There was a steep staircase when I arrived at the back room.
I pulled out a piece of paper that had numbers on it.
There were numbers on the boxes.
They didn't correspond.
I found one box where the numbers were "close enough".
I turned around and headed back.

The scene cut back to the original building where the dream started

I was there with the old man, who apparently was a professor.
I was there with three other people.
I gave the box to the professor.
He pulled out four artifacts.
I didn't know what the artifacts were but they held some sort of importance.

Common symbols thus far

2004-08-17T17:32:00.000-04:00

I have a good number of dreams recorded.
Aside from my private dreams (and believe me there is a reason for it), I haven't come across any recurring dreams.

However, I did discover some recurring symbols:

The phrase "Help me!" has occurred in four dreams (including one of my private dreams). It wasn't used in the same context in all of them. One was an actual cry for help. One was used in asking for assistance. One was used in a frolicing playful way. One was used in a sexual context.

A brown haired, wonderful gorgeous woman appeared in four dreams I jogged my memory and recorded it tonight. She seemed to appear to age in my dream world as I aged in real life. Two dreams where in high school. The other two dreams were in the past year.

My current settings seem to be another theme. That is I would have some dreams about Yorkton, Regina or Charleston. Now I seem to recall a dream about six months ago where I was at my old house in Yorkton with someone who could very well have been my dad at a younger age.

Music seems to be another common theme. Some times I would wake up humming a tune from a dream and then shortly afterwards I would forget what it sounds like. It makes me wonder if composers derive inspiration from their dreams. They probably do.

Dreams done in parts, or epic dreams are also frequent. In fact, even as I write this observation I am now recalling an epic underwater dream.

As of 10:40pm, I am now editing this entry.

Arcade video games is another recurring theme. Not watching them but actually playing them.

What if it's supposed to be forgotten?

2004-08-17T14:06:00.000-04:00

Have you had a dream where you wake up and feel good, but the moment you get out of bed and have a shower, you forgot what it was that you have enjoyed in your dream so well?

I've had three, possibly four such dreams.

Each of them left me feeling...I don't know the right word....blissful, tranquil, calm, peaceful, relaxed...all of the above?

The last such dream I had was back from Sunday March 20, 2004. I was reciting lines from the dream after I woke up. Five hours later I had forgotten what the dream was about and I couldn't remember the lines that I was reciting. It was one of a strange and incredible dream where I really wish I had a writing pad right beside the bed.

Two Dreams with nothing in common

2004-08-16T22:17:00.000-04:00

The first one I had when I was in high school.
The second one I had when I started University in '95

Dream One
----------
I was in my parent's bedroom.
The curtains were drawn.
The room was clean.
When I entered standing in front of me was a slim blonde girl about 5'3" tall.
I think she was calling out to me to help her.
This was not a playful help, but a cry for help
She started to morph into a Transformer (wheelie).
She then started to shrink.
She shrunk to a size of a toy transformer.
I held her in my hand, literally.

I didn't know what to do

Dream Two
----------

It's not so much the dream that I remember, it was how it ended.
The dream was very mundane, and uninteresting.
I think it involved me walking around a lot in some desert.
I got bored.
I then said out loud "I've had enough of this. I'm getting up."
The next thing I knew, I woke up.

The Calvin and Hobbes comic strip where Calvin bores himself awake by counting rocks came out before this dream. I thought it was funny. After I had this dream I now wonder if other people bore themselves awake

An omen? A message? Or foreshadowing?

2004-08-14T15:30:00.000-04:00

This dream happened back in March or April of 2004.

I was in Yorkton at my old house.
More specifically, I was outside at our gardening shed.
Inside the gardening shed was a pile of rubble of some sort.
I had a cell phone that was using the Linux OS.
My cell phone was falling apart, so I discarded it on the pile of rubble.
There were two other electronic gizmos on the pile of rubble as well.
I assumed those were my own, as well.
I felt the hand of my dad on my shoulder.
I felt he wanted me to turn around, which I did.
[My parents were gardeners]
The earth was tilled, but there is no grass, no plants, no weeds, and no trees.
The house looked like it was supported on cinder blocks of some sort.
It felt like my dad wanted me to do something with this tilled earth.

Is something important happening in Yorkton?
Am I supposed to go back to Yorkton?
Is the tilled earth merely a metaphor?

A largely forgotten three part dream from August 12, 2004

2004-08-12T08:26:00.000-04:00

I can't remember what happened on the first part.
I remembered a glimpse of the second part:

I was in a bus and I think someone was trying to take me home.
The streets were curvy.
I pointed out a building.
I lived there.
It was one third concrete and two thirds something else.
It looked like something that came out of the 1800s.
There was a wire fence.
I got out of the bus and headed towards my apartment.
I think there was some sort of K-6 school, I guess we were sharing the same building.

What triggered the memory was that I think it was either some sort of disciplinary school or a school for kids with disorders, because I remember there was a kid who had a clothespin on a lump of skin (Possibly a tumour?)

I can barely remember what happened on the third part.

I remember I was with classmates from Yorkton.
We were in some sort of theatre in Charleston watching some type of movie.
The movie was the second part of the dream.
I was listening to Four Tet at the time.
Towards the end of the movie, the theatre closed and we were asked to leave.
I was with a group of three people, I think Darren and Jonathan were the other two.
Jason was there too and he said how the weather violated the 4 degree rule.
The ground was covered in snow and a thin layer of ice.
I started to glide flawlessly on the ice.
I remember there was a minimalist techno beat in the background.
I went "Woooo!" really loud.
We were supposed to go back to the bus.
It was just me gliding right on the ice.
I went around three sides of the building.
I wanted to glide all around the building.
I came up to a street corner and there was slush.
I couldn't glide anymore.
I didn't turn back, but I went forward hoping to find another patch of ice or at least hoping to meet the bus.

Apartment dream - August 8, 2004

2004-08-08T14:35:00.000-04:00

I was dreaming about my homelife last night.
I was in my apartment.
I think it was in the afternoon.
The curtains were drawn.
I remember being remarkably lazy, watching TV.
Then I got up and realized that I had a lot of work to do.
The cats needed food, the water needed refilling.
I had cat vomit to clean.
The cat vomit resembled stale Cheerios and clumpy milk.
I was about to vomit, but I got it clean.
Someone knocked on the door.
I wasn't expecting anyone.
I called out "Hello?"

I awoke.

The E-Mail diaries II - from August 18, 2003

2004-08-06T12:14:00.000-04:00

i remember i was in a valley with gentle slopes.
a green valley with trees on top of the hills and scattered around.
there was a house in the middle of the valley.
i kept thinking there was a lake nearby but i don't think there was.
it was a very strange two part dream.

the first part was with dexter from dexter's laboratory (the cartoon).

and i guess he was with some sort of super model girlfriend who did anything for him.
i remember that she took his clothes off (minus his underwear) and carried him over his head or something.
He looked happy.

The second part got a little weird, I managed to be involved in the dream.
I found the head of a greek statue on the ground and a long necked trumpet nearby.
somehow i had a book with me, a black book about greek gods.

i pulled out the story of a greek god who was a famous trumpet player or something.
it turned out to be dexter's favorite greek god.
so i carried the trumpet, the head of the greek god and the book turned to that very story and set them all on his bed.

It wasn't a dusty book...considering the contents of the book, I say it would have to do more with knowledge, intellect and information.

It definitely was not a bunk bed that I remember. I was only placing objects on it. I wasn't sleeping on it. It was someone else's bed, too (Dexter). I remember it having old looking but comfortable covers on it.

It is a head of a statue. I didn't see it beheaded. I could only assume that it was.

when I was reading the black book, it somehow cut into a "flashback" story about this famous "Greek God", who would make an announcement and would blow on the horn. The very same horn I'm holding in the dream.

And I know these details because there was a narration through the entire dream.

The E-Mail diaries I - from March 28, 2004

2004-08-06T11:40:00.000-04:00

I Emailed these dreams to a friend of mine. She gave a good interpretation of them. So here they are without the interpretations

I had a very visible sense that it was sunny outside.
I had an indirect sense that the setting took place on either the second or third floor of an office building.
Quite possibly the third floor.
Indirectly I felt the building I was in had an archway entrance.
I think that I was in an office directly above the archway with the window behind me.
The office had an oak chair and an oak table.
I also remember a slightly heavy dark brown hair woman wearing a light rose red coloured dress with white trim.
She was walking around the office as apparently an assistant.
Not a secretary as she held more importance then that.
There were polished oak trimmings around the room, including some sort of bookcase.
They contained reference books, I think.
I don't remember seeing the woman's face.
For the entire time she had her back turned to me.
I remember her hair being soft.
She did hold a pad and was taking down very important notes.
I think we were dicussing important manners or one sort or another.
It wasn't just a casual conversation.
What I do remember is that after, she sat on me.
It was a flirtacious sitting.
She leaned back.
I remember the chair tilting back.
There wasn't any creak from the chair or any sign of weakness.
I remember my hands moving up her sides.
It wasn't typical behavior from her, but it felt like she wanted to "ante up" the relationship.
I felt a tingle of excitement going through my body.

I woke up after that.

Only one part I can remember from August 6, 2004

2004-08-06T11:02:00.000-04:00

Last night, my dream had three separate parts.
There was only one that I can remember.
The one before was a mixture of images of me being on the computer.
They were more random and unimportant.
The third part happened after I woke up to snap a photo of the bloom on my cactus.
That was also unimportant.
So this is about the second part.

I was in some sort of theme park.
Apparently, this was Disneyland.
As we entered the dream, I was in a roller coaster ride.
We weren't allowed to have hands outside of the cart.
We weren't allowed to have feet outside of the cart (strange rule).
We were supposed to keep a low profile (IE: duck)
The roller coaster cars could hold two people.
They were on an overhead cable, and not on a track.
I witnessed two girls who did not follow the rule of keeping a low profile.
They were subsequently beamed on the head by a construction beam as they passed under it.
They appeared okay, though.
I continued overhead, making quick descents and ascents.

It went from just being a ride to a tour of Disneyland.

The cable cars were more spaced out, now. I was the only one (didn't have a car partner) within 500 meters.
The car slowed down what felt like five or seven kilometers overhead of what apparently was the entrance into the theme park.
The car then moved into an opening into the trees.
It was some sort of studio tour, now.
I entered into a building where animators were doing some work.
From there, I somehow entered a college dormitory.
I exited the car. I was with two girls.
One girl wanted to check something out in her room.
She pulled out what she called a key.

It was a semi-globular key with an upside down "T" at the end of it.
They fit inside these hollow golden semi-globular "key holes" with a triangle.
That is, the "T" would slide in the large end of the triangle then it would slide down to the tip of the triangle, then you could turn the semi-globular keyhole.
It felt really clumsy. I felt I could have come up with a better key.

She entered her dorm room, turned the "keyhole" that was on her wall.
We left her room (I assumed she got what she needed).
We went to a window where we could resume the cable car ride.
Beside the window was the keyhole.
The keyhole was turned, the window opened and we waited.

Fragile Dreams - V

2004-08-05T17:09:00.000-04:00

early April 2004

Sarah (from Ed, Edd n Eddy) was in my dream.
She was mad at me for not telling T that I was married.
She walked over with an angry non-pleasing look on her face.
She told T and walked away with a look of "justice served" on her face.
I started panicking.
T was clearly pissed.

The feeling of panic crossed over when I woke up.
This dream was clearly a warning if things continued the way they were.
Thankfully, they did not.

My mind was clearly sending me a grade A red alert.

A journey from late July, 2004

2004-08-05T12:38:00.000-04:00

I was walking down in some downtown area.
The climate was good. Not too humid, not too hot, not too cold.
It could have been in a Canadian city or somewhere in the Midwest US.
It did spark memories of Regina.
I didn't know where I was walking to or where I headed from.
At some point, I was on a bicycle.
It was a worn out bike, I didn't like it too much.
I remember passing by a huge ugly black tree that took over a plot of land with a house on either side.
There wasn't any grass around the tree and the tree didn't have a single leaf on it.
The pavement was cracked and broken from the roots of this old tree.
I remember that I approached the edge of the concrete beside the tree.
I threw the bike there, as though I was throwing away garbage.
A husky latino man came up behind me, took the bike and took it to where it was supposed to go (the garbage)
I picked up a companion along the way down north (I was heading towards the afternoon sun). She was riding a bike too.
She was younger then me (she must have been in her teens).
We made some small talk.
I remember her saying "It's too bad you can't be my boyfriend"
I said "Yeah, it is".
When I said it, there was a definite feeling to it, it was like I was saying "Quit you dreaming girl, because it will never happen"
She biked off somewhere.

I continued on my journey down the sidewalk.