Last night, I dreamed that my ex-girlfriend from a long time ago, Linda, and I were sitting on the couch, having a heart to heart talk and kissing. Rather then talk about the dream, I should talk about the feelings that it invoked in me. First of all, I felt regret that Linda and I never got along as well as we should have and most of that was my fault. Second of all, I think it's a sign for me that I've been reflecting too much on my past and that I really should let go. I haven't seen her close to 10 years. Many things have happened between that time. I think the kiss that we had in that dream was just to evoke a memory of the last time we had kissed. Since it's been years since we last been in contact, I wouldn't know where to look even if I wanted to. For all I know, she's probably married now and has a family. The next time we bump into each other will probably be luck and by then I would've forgotten that I had this dream and we would be catching up with each other on what we've been doing. That's probably the reason why I didn't dream about what she looked like when we met, but how I feel she would look like now.

I was climbing up a very snowy hill from Montana to Alberta. It was in some sort of small town near the Alberta border. The snow was high and slippery and it was a struggle. While climbing and struggling, I came across a red car that has been buried in the snow. It looked like the snow took them by surprise. I wiped off the windshield and moved the snow away from the doors. The driver opened up and he asked me where I was going. I told him I was going towards the border and he says to me that I didn't need to make this trek. There was an easier way: Highway 14, in which he called "The Great Escape Highway". Wondering why I haven't thought of that, I climbed down the hill, leaving the driver and his passenger in the car. I got inside of a blue car that was in the town at the foot of the hills. I got in and woke up before I started on my way.

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I was watching a porn film. The man was able to carry three women on his arms. He picked one of them, and threw her on the couch. He started undressing her and she started sucking his cock. The porn film turned into a documentary of the guy. He says that people do need to exercise at least two times a day. He said that he is forced to exercise for the rest of his life. If he ever stopped, his eyes would jaundice, his heartrate would become erratic and his health would deteriorate. The announcer said that he died shortly after the interview for apparently not exercising for only two days. What was weird about this dream is that I put in an internet search for exercise and death. A lot of results came up. I wonder if I was integrating a report on TV about sudden death in athletes with my dreams

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I was part of a dance choreography group for a large scale off-Broadway production directed by some director. His first name is either Frank or Henry. I remember because his first name was in bold letters in either yellow or green letters with a dancer on top of each letter doing something incredibly fancy. His last name was in red and green letters with a dancer on top of each letter doing something incredibly fancy. The scene that I was in took place inside a grocery store with two principle cast members. I was in a large group of extras. This group of extras was divided into three parts in front of the grocery store. The farthest was wearing green shirts. The ones in the middle were wearing red and we were wearing black. All three groups were divided by cast iron tube dividers painted black. One principle actor was going up and down the lanes of the grocery store. Whenever he approached the lane closest to whichever group of extras (green, red or black), we would recoil away from this actor and then crawl slowly back up to him while he had his back to us. This happened for a total of three times. The second principle actor walked from the back towards the grocery isles. The group that I was in (wearing the black) stood up and moved out of the way for him to enter. Both principle actors wore black suits. One with a black tie and one with a black and white striped tie. (I don't recall what the lyrics were). We, in the black, all then formed a large circle, standing a good distance away while the extras, in the red, started doing complex flips, turns and somersaults one at a time. From that point it felt like someone turned on the "fast forward" or "fast motion" button on.

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Are there two things, both appealing in a sort of average way, in your waking world between which you are torn? What do women mean to you?

Good questions, s&m. I'll answer in a stream of consciousness:

Two things in which I am torn...a companion's desire for me and my own desire for a companion. I feel like, as of right now, those two desires haven't met. As illustrated in the dream, even though there is nothing wrong with the other woman and I'm pretty sure she is nice, attractive and fun to be around. Alas, she is not what I desire. When i was younger, I found it heartbreaking to tell a girl "No I'm not interested in you" because at the time I felt the reasoning was "I had a high desire for women". It turned out that non-rejection is about as disrespectful as rejection. It's one thing to be turned down. It's another thing to be led on and used. The coat was made for the two of us and it was her coat. It provided some degree of comfort between us and the floor. The coat did not belong to the other woman nor did I think it would be fair to have all three of us sitting on that coat. It would've caused discomfort for someone. I felt that i've taken the best solution possible: Stop it right there before it does cause a problem. Have the courage to say "No" to a woman.

Women mean a lot to me, as a companion, as a friend, as a lover, as a potential wife and mother. But I must not forget that I need to balance that scale equally. I must not give in to her and she must not give in to me. We must allow each other to compromise. It must be a fight for power, but it also must be a high degree of understanding and patience. There must be pedestals and there must be equal footing. There must be dreams for the future and there must be deeply rooted affection. There must be chaos and there must be structure. We must have our own views and we must be able to defend them. We must be able to defend the other in tight and awkward situations. There must be times when we're alone in tight and awkward situations but we can always rely to go to the other for comfort in the end, no matter how bleak or hopeless the situation is or how badly our feelings have been hurt by others. There must be magic and there must be reality.

I was at a concert. I don't even remember what kind of concert it was. I remember sitting on a hardwood floor of which I think was a stage. I wasn't there with anyone, but there was a woman there who wanted to sit with me. Actually there were two, but I politely told the other one "Sorrry, but I can't". Me and this other woman were being nice to each other.

She was around 5'7", light brown hair, light brown eyes, average-thin build, dressed in sort of pink and red clothes. She carried around a multi-coloured purse and a jacket for us to sit on, which was nice of her.

The other lady had a different hairstyle, wore tan-brown clothes, but looked similar to the one that I was sitting with. Friendly, nonetheless.

That's about all I can remember. It was a good feeling of being wanted.

For whatever reason, I cannot access my old sitemeter (s15sleepyjohn).

So I got a new one!

(Yay for me!)

I was walking around the school when I came to a room where I saw Theresa Szlydowski(I can't recall the correct spelling of her last name). I was so thrilled to seeing her again. I hugged her and we talked a little. It turned out that I was the first one to see her. I think she wanted to see me first. Then I started looking for others for her to see. Claude, Lisa, Kim, Darren...all of the others who were in my (I'm guessing) sixth grade or whichever grade. It felt like a reunion.

Lisa, I remember, had a few tears coming out after seeing Theresa.

Then another woman came up to me and looked at my eyes. She wanted to know if I was crying...and I was.

We were all our present ages. I was 29 in the dream and everyone was either 29 or 30 years old.

It started off as some sort of space exploration thing, nearing the edge of the sun. There were space ships and space stations, but they all look like they can fall apart.

Then for one reason of another, I ended up back at a nice house where I was dating someone by the name of Becky, who didn't look like Becky, but she turned out to be an alien wanting to kill me and eat my flesh to satisfy her hunger.
It started off as a knife fight, except she was the one holding the knife. All I had were my arms, trying to jump away. I grabbed a trash can lid to fend her off her knife attacks. She also grabbed a garbage can lid...while still armed with her knife. Eventually I won. I was held by other people while Ken, who didn't look like Ken, went for my face with a hot iron. I struggled free. Ken apparently was also an alien wanting to kill me and eat my flesh to satisfy his hunger.

I left the house walking towards my car. I was closely followed by Ken, who I guess was making sure that I left and never came back.

My comforter was in the wash last night and I felt a little too cold which probably resulted in this strange dream.